Page 35 of Cage

The cords in my neck tense, and my smile falls. “I do like her, but no, she’s not going to be my Little girl.”

Those words taste like poison on my tongue. Why does it piss me off that I said that?

Rowie picks at the fur on her onesie; her gaze lowered from me. “Maybe she should be. I mean, you like her, and she likes you. She needs a good Daddy, I think. Her eyes are sad a lot, but not when she looks at you.”

Leave it to this Little girl to notice things that no one else does. “Just because I like her doesn’t mean I should be her Daddy. She’s only here because she needs protection.”

“You like her more than just a client.”

She’s right about that. I want to do things to Ember that I haven’t ever done with any other Little before. I don’t want to just play with her. I want to completely own her.

“Ember is a special woman. She deserves more than what I can give her. She’s from a whole different world than me.”

Maybe if I say it enough times, I’ll start to remember it.

Rowie pulls a face, then looks up and glares at me. “More than you can give her? You can give her everything, Cage. You’re one of the most unselfish people I’ve ever known. And as someone who was born into awhole different world, I know first-hand that it doesn’t mean anything. Just because it’s covered with silver and gold doesn’t mean it’s good. In fact, it could be downright hell.”

My heart cracks, and I have to blink several times as I swallow the pain swelling in my chest. I’d do anything to erase the pain Rowena went through. To make her forget all the abuse.

I get up and stride over to her, leaning down to look her in the eye. “You deserved so much more.”

She searches my face with her deep brown eyes, then lets out a shaky breath. “I know,” she whispers.

Taking a step back to lean against the edge of the desk, I shake my head. “I’m not a good person, Row. I’m tainted with blood. She’s so fucking pure and sweet. I’d ruin her.”

“You haven’t ruined me.” Her voice is small and soft. “You won’t know unless you take the risk.”

That’s the thing about me. I was trainednotto take risks. Everything I do is calculated and planned to eliminate all danger. If I didn’t do that, I’d be dead by now. We all would. The problem is, as much as I want to take a chance with Ember, if itdoesn’t work out, it would be my heart and soul that dies, and I think that might be even worse. Besides, with my job, I’m often gone from home, and she couldn’t come with me. It would be too dangerous. And expecting her to stay at The Ranch while I’m working wouldn’t be fair to her. Even if it is nearly time for me to start slowing down. There would still be jobs I’d have to leave her and travel to. As obsessed as I already am with Ember, I can’t imagine how bad I’d be if she were mine.

“She’s only here temporarily, Row. It’s just a job.” I think it is. It doesn’t really feel like one.

Rowena nods, her eyes lowering to her lap. “I get it. She’s just so sweet. I’ve never had a friend before. It’s kind of nice having another girl here.”

Something heavy settles in the pit of my stomach. “Rowie,” I say softly. “Are you unhappy here?”

Her head snaps up to meet my gaze, and she quickly shakes her head. “Not at all. I love my life here. It’s the best life I ever could have imagined.”

My shoulders drop with relief.

“It’s just,” she adds slowly. “Sometimes, I wish I had friends. Someone to play with. Another girl to talk to. It can be lonely being the only one.”

Fuck. How did I not realize?

“Does Theo know you feel this way?”

I’m pretty sure he would have said something if he knew. Rowie and Theo are even closer than I am with her, so maybe she’s talked to him about it.

“No. He worries enough about me.”

I reach out and cup her chin. “We all worry about you. You’re our girl. We all love you.”

She smiles and leans into my hand. “I know. There hasn’t been a day that’s gone by since I’ve been here that I haven’t felt loved.”

My phone rings, and when I pull it out of my pocket to check who it is, I wince.

Pointing at Rowie, I shoot her a stern look. “Don’t move a muscle. We’re not done talking about this.”

Turning my back, I hit the accept button. “What do you have for me?”

---