Page 39 of Knocked Up By the Russian

Exhaling, Amy turned to look at him. She found his eyes, that stunning ocean blue, staring back at her. The attention made her blush, even if she was grateful for the change of subject. It worked; it got her mind off of what it had been on before.

"Uh..." she stammered, her skin heating further.

"Well..." she trailed off with a shrug, fingers dropping to the hem of his shirt. It fell to mid-thigh on her, reminding her of her nightgowns. She'd been about to pull one of them on earlier before spotting the shirt he'd worn the night before on the floor. It still smelled like him too, oranges and bourbon. That had been more comforting than anything else. She'd needed that.

The white fabric crinkled under her ministrations, and she grew distracted.

"Mishka?" Ivan murmured, his voice playful. She blinked, focused. Felt heat in her stomach when she saw the cocky smile on his face.

"I went through your things," she admitted in an airy tone, purposefully trying to make it seem like she didn't care—it was probably a bit late for that, but still.

Ivan chuckled, his stance relaxed as he looked her over. "And what did you find, little bear?"

Oh, lots of things, she thought sarcastically as she looked away. "My missing mug," she said shyly, shifting nervously on her feet. "A few photos from the Christmas party."

"Remember that one, do you?" he asked, a rumble of laughter making her squeeze her thighs.

"Maybe," she confessed quietly. A smile flickered on her lips, but she tried to suppress it. Ivan laughed again, and her lips thinned purposefully as she looked away.Do not, fucking,laugh!She told herself but it spilled out. The tension she'd been feeling eased as she giggled. Tears pressed to her eyes again, this time joyful, and she laughed harder.

"Shameless," Ivan said, making her laugh even harder. She laughed so hard, she squeaked embarrassingly. Then laughed again just for the hell of it.

He strode toward her, pulling her into a kiss, and she giggled against his lips. "You're still spoiled," she muttered, giving in. The giggles faded as he pulled away.

"Tell me why that made you sad," he said, his forehead pressing against hers. And she wanted to, she really did—but it felt like too much at the moment. She wanted a break from the seriousness. Needed a distraction. Her hands pressed against his chest, she already had the perfect one too. He just needed a little hint.

"I've got a better idea," she breathed against his lips as her arms reached up around his neck. She pressed against him tightly and dragged him into another kiss. Ivan gave in without any hassle, growing hard against her.

"Make love to me," she demanded, aching to feel him. His words from earlier echoed in her head, but she pushed them out like she had before. It was a slip of the tongue; he couldn't be in love with her. Right?

***

After Ivan dragged her to his bed and made love to her exactly how she'd demanded, Amy managed to fall asleep in his arms. A few hours later, her body trembled as she found herself pulled into a nightmare. Her dreams had been wild ever sinceseeing Boris murdered; her mind took the threats and made them all worse.

Her imagination created a dreamscape of horrors, and she heard her family's screams as she tried to escape it. Ivan stopped her at every turn, his beautiful face stern as he controlled her movements. It made her cry, made her realize that was exactly what she'd feared all along. And when he managed to keep her safe, she still had to watch the ones she loved murdered by the shadow of an assailant. Someone she couldn't make out no matter how hard she tried chasing him. The gun echoed a dozen times in her mind, and bullet casings buried her feet. Amy felt her sobs while they happened in real life, seeing her name on every single one of them.

"Amy?" Ivan's desperation pulled her out of it. How many times he'd called, she'd never know, but she found herself curled within his warm embrace as he rocked her waking body.

"I'm awake," she mentioned between gasps. Fresh tears tracked down her face as she grappled with the horrors she'd seen. "I'm alright."

"You're not," he mentioned, exhaling a breath against her shoulder. "But I'll make sure you are. Tell me what you dreamed, Mishka. I want to know what left you so scared that your body's still trembling in my arms."

She admitted every single horror she'd seen through broken gasps, crying into the crook of his neck when it became too much.

"We're going to find him, little bear. I promise you," he vowed, pressing kisses against her forehead. His voice darkened then as she felt the tension slip away. "And when we do, I'll make him suffer for doing this to you."

She believed him. Every single word.

"Ivan?" she murmured a little while later. He hummed under his breath. They were still in the same position she'd woken to find them in, his back against the headboard, her cradled in his lap. "Did you mean what you said earlier?"

"Which part?" he questioned as she stared out at the city spread out before them. There was something comforting, almost distracting about seeing the sparkling lights. She pulled her attention away, thinking:the part where you said you loved me.

"No one will hurt you, that I vow." His words were cold enough to make her shiver, but Amy ignored that, tilting her head to meet his eyes. Did he love her? She couldn't tell, and if she was honest, she was more than a little afraid to say anything to him right then. To remind him. But she wanted to.

"I meant earlier, in the living room," she murmured, her finger spelling out what she really wanted to ask against his skin.Tell me you love me, Ivan.

He didn't though, and his brow furrowed in confusion as he tried to remember. "I usually mean what I say when I'm talking to you, Mishka."

A snort fell from her lips. That wasn't what she'd been asking for, but it answered enough all on its own. Feeling a confusing mixture of emotions, she pushed the thoughts from her mind. It didn't stop her from wondering though... and she wondered why it saddened her to think she might've misheard. Then she wondered why she even cared.

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