Page 47 of The Do-Over

‘I’m pretty sure that’s not how a honeytrap works, and you’re miles off course,’ I tell him with a laugh. ‘I was just curious, that’s all. Oh, that must be Ernest arriving now. I’d better go and greet him.’

‘Before you do, let me just tell you in all seriousness that you have nothing to fear from me where Rebecca is concerned. I know it’s early days, but I’ve got a good feeling about her, and I’ll do everything I can to make her happy.’

I smile as I pick up the mugs of tea. ‘I know you will, Ben. You’re one of the good guys.’

‘I like to hope so.’

My day is brightened considerably when I realise that Ernest is not alone. Once more, George is with him, looking frankly edible in dark blue overalls. I wonder if he’ll get hot and have to peel them off his top half, tying them round his waist so I can appreciate his biceps as he works.

‘Look at that, George,’ Ernest exclaims as he levers himself out of the driving seat. ‘Our tea is waiting for us. That’s service, that is.’

‘Sorry, Ernest,’ I tell him. ‘These are for the tree surgeons. I’ll get you something in a minute.’

‘They’re here then?’ he asks.

I don’t reply, nodding at the pickup truck instead. As if on cue, the telltale sound of chainsaw motors suddenly fills the air, and I round the side of the cottage to find Dave and Brooke already hard at work in the branches of the tree. Rebecca is watching them with an awed expression on her face.

‘It’s extraordinary,’ she yells over the din. ‘Kind of like ballet but with massive power tools.’

I stand and watch with her for a few moments and I see what she means. Dave and Brooke are in their harnesses working their way confidently through the tree, as bits of branch fall regularly onto the ground below. After a few minutes, I catch Brooke’s eye and wave the mugs, before settling them on the ground to go and deal with Ernest and George. It looks like I’m not a moment too soon, as Ernest has cornered Ben and appears to be giving him a detailed lecture on some aspect of mill mechanics. Ben is trying to look interested, but I can tell he’s desperate to get away so he can carry on fighting with the range.

‘Ernest, I’ve been meaning to ask you a question,’ I say to him in one of his rare pauses for breath. ‘It’s very kind of you to come and do this, but we haven’t talked about finance and what your time costs.’

‘Oh, you don’t need to worry about that,’ he replies. ‘We’re still in the discovery phase, so HIBT picks up the tab. If we find it’s not viable, I think there’s a fee for the certificate, but Charlotte will tell you all about that. If, as I suspect, it’s a runner, then there are various things we can offer to help you get the most out of it. But let’s not jump the gun, eh? Georgeand I have a lot of work to do before we get to that stage.’ He glances uneasily at Dave and Brooke. ‘I hope they know what they’re doing,’ he observes unhappily. ‘Women wielding power tools make me uneasy. It’s like women driving buses or lorries. Unnatural.’

‘I won’t hold you up,’ I tell him, forcing myself to remain civil. ‘If you want to make a start, I’ll bring your tea round to you in a few minutes.’

‘Perfect. Right, come on, George. We’ve got greasing to do.’

By three o’clock, the tree has been reduced to a pile of logs, and the rest of us are watching as Ernest and George carefully ease the tarpaulin away from the water wheel. It’s brittle from being out in the sun, and they’re being careful not to leave any pieces on the ground, in case they get washed into the river when we open the sluice. I’ve got my fingers metaphorically crossed, hoping that the holes in the tarpaulin have let in enough weather to make the wheel underneath unusable, but Ernest’s shout of triumph when they finally get all the tarpaulin away to reveal a depressingly solid-looking wheel is enough to assure me that the mill has played another bloody ace.

‘OK,’ Ernest calls. ‘We’re ready. George, have you tentered the stones?’

‘Yup.’

‘What the bloody hell does that mean?’ Dave asks Ben.

‘No idea,’ he replies.

‘Right,’ Ernest shouts again. ‘I’m going to set our remote camera up inside the mill. The rest of you, stand well back, all right?’

‘Why?’ I ask. ‘What are you expecting to happen?’

‘I’m hoping it will start running normally, but there’s a lot of heavy machinery in there that could make quite a mess if it breaks loose, so best to play it safe and keep clear to begin with.’

We’ve all seen the heavy machinery he’s talking about, and respectfully take quite a few steps back. Ernest disappears inside the mill, reappearing a few moments later and leaving George alone at the top of the channel leading down to the water wheel.

‘How come George gets the dangerous job?’ I ask Ernest.

‘Simple. He can run faster than me,’ Ernest replies with a smile, before giving George a thumbs up.

‘He’ll open the sluice gate to start the water flowing,’ Ernest tells us all. ‘We’ll be able to see what’s happening on my phone screen.’

We all watch in silence as George turns the handle to raise the gate. Even at this distance, we can clearly hear the clack-clack of the ratchet mechanism, and my heartbeat quickens as water begins to pour over the wheel. George, having done his job, sprints over to join us.

‘Well, this is a bit of an anticlimax,’ Dave observes a few moments later. She’s right. The water is pouring over the wheel but there’s no sign of motion.

‘It takes time,’ George tells her. ‘We need to fill enough buckets in the wheel to overcome the inertia.’

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