Page 33 of The Do-Over

‘What about this one?’ Rebecca asks, passing the tablet that she’s welded to these days across to me. Oily Pete came good and my current account is now a worrying sum in credit. I look at the property on screen. It’s a three-bedroom end-of-terrace in Ashford that’s definitely in need of some TLC. The auction guide price is £230,000.

‘I’m thinking lose a bedroom, move the bathroom upstairs and extend the kitchen. The rest probably just needs a lick of paint and a tidy up. The garden’s a mess, but that shouldn’t be too difficult to sort out.’

I zoom in on some of the pictures, and something catches my eye.

‘The wallpaper’s peeling away here, can you see?’ I say, handing the tablet back.

‘Oh, well spotted. You’re thinking damp?’

‘It’s definitely a risk. What are the modernised houses in that area going for?’

‘Two sixty to two ninety.’

‘Mm, not a lot of margin even if we get it for the guide price.’

‘Yeah, but I think we have to set our sights a little low, at least to start. We both know that we could have made much more in London, but we’d need to spend much more up front and we wouldn’t have the luxury of living here pretty much rent free. However, I agree. This one is too tight, especially if there’s damp. I’ll keep looking.’

‘How is the cut-throat world of property development this morning?’ Mum asks as she brings in three mugs of tea and settles herself on the sofa next to Rebecca.

‘I’m just looking at the properties coming up next month, Cath,’ Rebecca tells her.

‘Can I see?’ Rebecca hands her the tablet and Mum starts scrolling slowly.

‘They’re all a bit run-down, aren’t they?’ she observes.

‘That’s the point, Mum,’ I explain for what feels like the thousandth time. ‘If they’re not run-down we can’t add value to them and make a profit.’

‘I don’t know. Saffy reckons her house is probably worth a lot more than they bought it for.’

‘Yes, but they’ve been in it for years. The aim for us is to get in and get out fast.’

‘So you say. It all seems very risky to me, but I’m sure you know what you’re doing. Oh, this is nice.’

She hands the tablet to Rebecca, who takes her time looking at it. ‘It is pretty, I agree,’ she remarks after a while. ‘I love the pond.’

‘You could have ducks on it,’ Mum observes.

‘Blimey, it’s got ten acres of land. That’s practically a whole county! I wonder why it’s so cheap?’

‘What are you looking at?’ I ask.

‘This,’ Rebecca tells me, handing over the tablet. The property in question is a pretty two-bedroom stone cottage with a large pond next to it and, as Rebecca pointed out, an awful lotof land. The guide price is £800,000. That’s not what catches my eye though. Attached to the cottage is a second building, on the side of which is a massive, tatty-looking tarpaulin that, although it’s hard to see because it’s partly obscured by a fallen tree, appears to be covering something large and round.

‘Is that a watermill?’ I ask as I hand the tablet back. ‘What on earth would you do with something like that?’

We’re interrupted by the arrival of Saffy and a very excited Louis. Since we moved here, Louis and Rollo have become firm friends. Louis, being already settled at St Justin’s, was initially happy to take Rollo under his wing and show him the ropes, but now Rollo is definitely trying to turn the tables a bit in his favour by periodically reminding Louis that he’s a whole year older and in the class above Louis’s. Now that summer is here, they spend most of the time when they’re together outside in the garden, usually having water fights.

‘How’s it going?’ Saffy asks once the boys have changed into swimming trunks and had the usual lecture about not aiming for each other’s faces.

‘What do you think of this?’ Rebecca asks her, handing her the tablet.

‘Oh, that’s gorgeous,’ Saffy breathes, after she’s studied the pictures.

‘Isn’t it?’ Mum agrees.

‘It’s also bound to be a lot of work,’ I tell them before they can get too excited. ‘We’re supposed to be looking for something that doesn’t need too much doing to it, so we can cut our teeth and turn a quick profit, remember? I might be tempted if it came up after we’d already done five houses, but it’s way too much work for a first project.’

‘I reckon you’d make a killing on it though,’ Saffy tells me, undeterred. ‘Tim’s addicted to those property porn programmes on Channel 4, where experts help people find their ideal homes,and there was a converted watermill on one of those not that long ago. It was well over a million, and it wasn’t half as nice as this could be. Have a look online, there’s bound to be one for sale somewhere.’

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