Page 29 of The Do-Over

Our laughter is short lived as the programme switches back to Gary and his shell of a house. It’s our favourite part of the show now; the camera focuses on various parts of the original house before a screen wipe to how it looks now. The screen wipe is always accompanied by a swishing sound that Rebecca and I imitate religiously, swiping our hands in front of our faces as we do.

‘Oh, that’s stunning,’ I breathe as feature after feature is revealed. ‘He must have gone over budget though, surely. There’s no way you could do that for sixty thousand.’

‘So, how much did you spend?’ the presenter asks on screen, and we both lean forward. I’ve written £100,000 on my pad and I reckon we’re going to be much closer to that than Rebecca’s estimated £55,000.

‘Well, I called in a few favours,’ Gary says, ‘and Bobbie and I did a lot of the decoration and stuff ourselves during the evenings and weekends, so we actually came in under budget at £52,000.’

Rebecca and I sit in breathless anticipation as two estate agents are brought in to value the property now the work’s been done. They’re both full of admiration for the high standard of fit and finish, and Gary and Bobbie are delighted to discover that they could make a potential pre-tax profit of £80,000 if they were to put it on the market.

‘I was hoping for sixty, so that’s a real bonus,’ Gary tells the presenter.

‘It’s a great result,’ the presenter agrees. ‘So, what now?’

‘Oh, Bobbie and I have already got our eyes on our next project,’ Gary says with a grin.

‘So there we are,’ the presenter concludes. ‘Join us tomorrow for another episode ofHomes Under the Hammer.’

I turn off the TV and turn to Rebecca, who is still grinning manically.

‘That could be us,’ she says. ‘Eighty grand. Not bad, eh?’

I decide not to tell her that the salary Morton Lansdowne is still paying me is considerably more than that.

‘What about Rollo?’ I say, in my final attempt to defuse her. ‘He needs stability. You can’t keep pulling him out of one school and shoving him in another every time we start a new project.’

This does, thankfully, have the desired effect. ‘That’s a good point,’ she admits. ‘I guess we’d need to agree on the general area up front, so I could get him into a school and know he couldstay there. Look. Nothing’s cast in stone, but it’s not a bad idea, is it? Think about it, at least?’

I smile at her. ‘I suspect it might be a totally crazy idea, but I promise I’ll think about it, yes.’

I’m in a reflective mood as I tidy up after lunch. Rebecca has headed off to collect Rollo from school, and I’ve got a pile of laundry that I’m planning to clear this afternoon. I don’t know how serious she was about her plan, but it certainly put a sorely lacking spring back in her step. The whole business with the house and her uncertain future has been preying on her mind a lot, particularly as Alice has informed her that probate is due to be granted in a week or two. Alice has offered to cover the mortgage for three months to give her time to sell, as they both agreed that was her only viable option. I’ve tried not to think about her moving away; she’s become such a big part of my life that I’ll really miss her.

As I load the washing machine, I replay our conversation in my head. Her idea is crazily impetuous, of course it is, but like all crazy, spur-of-the-moment ideas, there is a tiny nugget of genius in it. And, I have to admit, the idea of being my own boss really appeals.

We can’t do this, can we?

15

If I wasn’t having a breakdown after I left Morton Lansdowne, I’m surely having one now. That’s the only logical explanation, I think to myself as I sign the paperwork authorising an ecstatic Oily Pete to sell my house. Not only has Rebecca’s enthusiasm for property development infected me, but my whole family think it’s a brilliant idea too. The plan, as much as there is one, is that we sell up and move into Mum and Phil’s in the short-term while we look for a suitable property near them to renovate. We’ve decided to focus on Kent, partly because it gives us cheap accommodation while we’re looking, but also because that will enable Rebecca to enrol Rollo in a school knowing that we’re going to be staying in the area. Rebecca, who Mum has practically adopted, will go in Saffy’s old room and she’s clearing out the spare room, which has become a bit of a dumping ground for things that don’t have a home anywhere else, for Rollo.

‘I think what I’m going to do,’ Oily Pete tells me conspiratorially as he stuffs the signed paperwork into his document holder, ‘is hold an open house for both yours and Rebecca’s properties simultaneously. It’s a psychological trick, but it works pretty well.’

‘What kind of trick?’ I ask.

‘Nothing sinister. But, if people see that there’s a lot of interest, which I’m sure there will be, it encourages them to put in a higher offer to have a better chance of securing the property. It sifts out the low ballers who just want to waste everyone’s time in search of a bargain. To be honest with you, it wouldn’t surprise me if we sell both of them on the day, and get a premium on the asking price as well. How does a week on Saturday sound? Gives me a bit of a chance to get the word out.’

‘What do I have to do?’

‘Nothing, if you don’t want to. I’ll bring one of my colleagues along so there’s someone in each property. You can go out for the day, or you can be here to answer questions. Whatever suits.’

That’s an easy decision. I wouldn’t trust Oily Pete not to go upstairs and start rifling through my drawers if he’s unsupervised. I’m sure he’s good at what he does, but he’s the kind of person who makes you want to wipe down every surface he’s touched afterwards. His shiny grey suit doesn’t fit him very well, has a few suspicious-looking stains, and looks like it might have come from a market stall. On top of that, he leaves a lingering aroma of cigarette smoke and cheap aftershave wherever he goes.

‘I’ll be here, Pete,’ I tell him.

‘Great. You might want to have some biscuits or something in the oven. The smell of baking makes a place feel homely – encourages the punters to think positively about it, know what I mean?’

‘I’ll see what I can do.’

‘Perfect. I’ll be in touch after I’ve checked that day suits Rebecca as well, yeah?’

---