Page 11 of The Do-Over

‘There is indeed,’ I tell him. ‘Would you like me to give it to you?’

He nods excitedly, eyes wide as I fish out the box with his name on it and hand it to him, before handing round the rest of the presents to my family.

‘Can I open it, Mum? Can I?’

I can see Saffy looking at me warily, evidently concerned about a repeat of chemistry-set-gate.

She sighs. ‘Go on then.’

He tears eagerly into the paper and I find myself holding my breath.

‘Oh, wow! Look, Mum. Look what Auntie Thea bought me.’

Her mouth drops open. ‘A Spiderman hero figurine? Where the bloody hell did you get one of those? They’ve been sold out literally everywhere since forever.’

‘I, umm, got lucky,’ I tell her. ‘There was one store in London that had some, and I guess I was in the right place at the right time.’ I make a mental note to tell Janice that she’s an absolute star.

‘You are averylucky boy, Louis. What do you say to Auntie Thea?’

‘Thank you,’ he says dutifully.

‘It’s my pleasure, Louis,’ I tell him, breathing a sigh of relief.

The rest of ‘my’ presents are equally well received, and I don’t do too badly as a recipient either. Saffy and Tim have given me a small bottle of the Dior perfume I like, and Mum and Phil have played it safe with M&S vouchers as they do every year.

‘We’d love to get you something different,’ Mum says apologetically as I thank them. ‘But you’re so difficult to buy for.’

‘It’s fine,’ I reassure her. ‘You can never go wrong with M&S vouchers.’

‘So, how’s it going at work?’ Saffy asks in the lull between present opening and lunch. Mum has disappeared into the kitchen to check the turkey, Louis is engrossed in his presents, and Phil and Tim are ‘checking the wine is OK’, which seems to involve pouring large glasses for each other and muttering about giving it room to breathe as an excuse.

‘Yeah, busier than ever. You?’

‘Oh, same old, same old. Can I ask you something?’

‘Of course.’

‘How is it that you claim to be busier than ever, but you miraculously find time to source this year’s must-have toy for your nephew? A toy so sought after that us mere mortals couldn’t get within sniffing distance of it. What did you do? Bribe a government official? Buy the company?’

‘Why does it have to be something suspicious? Maybe I just got lucky, like I said.’

‘Come on, Thea. This is me you’re talking to.’

I sigh. ‘If I tell you, will you promise not to be cross?’

‘You’ve made my son’s Christmas. How could I be cross?’

I smile at her conspiratorially. ‘My PA bought it. I have no idea where she got it from.’

She laughs. ‘I might have known. Your presents this year have been suspiciously on point. When I saw the shape of the box, I’ll admit I was worried it was going to be a Barbie doll for a moment.’

‘Would that have been so wrong? Aren’t we supposed to be moving away from gender-orientated toys?’

‘Mm. I’m not sure Louis is that politically aware yet. Anyway, do thank your PA on my behalf.’

I’m actually a little sad that I couldn’t stay the night in the end, as it was one of the nicest Christmas days I’ve spent with my family in ages. Mum, bless her, was determined to feed me up, and even sent me away with some leftovers as a food parcel. I didn’t have the heart to tell her I’d have to put them straight in the bin as they’d go off before I came back from Paris. The biggest surprise of the day, however, came when I got home and found the space outside my house empty and no sign of Rollo’s mum’s SUV anywhere. Perhaps they’ve gone away for Christmas. For a moment, I wondered what sort of presents poor Rollo would have been unwrapping. Probably educational and nothing as frivolous as the action figure that Louis was so delighted with.

As the Eurostar streaks through northern France, I temporarily abandon the document I’m looking at and open my email program to send a note of thanks to Janice.

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