Page 74 of Too Busy for Love

‘Yeah, good. You?’Come on, Beatrice. This is agony.

‘I’m OK, thanks. You said you needed to talk to me,’ he prompts.

‘That’s right.’ I seize the mental lifeline with both hands. ‘Look, I’m sorry I haven’t been in touch lately. So much has been happening that my feet have hardly touched the ground.’

‘That’s OK. What have you been up to?’

I take a deep breath and launch into the story, explaining about how the project was resurrected, but carefully leaving out Emilio for now. Any guilt I feel about not being completely truthful, like I’d planned, is overruled by the fact that I don’t want to hurt his feelings by making him think he wasn’t the first choice.

‘In fact, that’s why I’m calling. I’ve got a job opening that I wanted to run past you, to see if you were interested,’ I tell him at the end.

‘I see,’ he says after a pause. Am I imagining it, or has his tone of voice changed? He certainly doesn’t look happy now. Have I gone about this the wrong way? Once more, I find myself paralysed.

‘Why don’t you tell me about it,’ he suggests after a while.

‘It’s the same as we talked about before. The head chef position here at The Mermaid.’

‘Starting when?’

‘The middle of next month.’

There’s another long pause.

‘Hm.’

‘What?’ I ask.

‘I know you, Beatrice. There’s no way you’d get this close to the wire with such a key position unfilled, especially when you told me last time we spoke that food was the USP and you even got me to design a menu. There’s something you’re not telling me.’

Shit. Maybe I should have been up front about Emilio from the start after all. He looks really pissed off now. I’m losing him, I can tell, and I need to turn this conversation around fast. ‘Fine, full disclosure. I wanted you from the beginning, as you know, but Abby, my co-director, wanted a name, so she forced this celebrity chef on me.’

‘Who?’

‘Emilio Marcuso.’

‘The one that’s just been arrested.’

‘You’ve heard then?’

‘Incredibly, we have news in Scotland.’ His voice is dripping with sarcasm. ‘You are a piece of work, you know that?’

‘What are you talking about?’

‘Stupidly, I thought you actually wanted to talk to me because you cared about me.’

‘I do!’

‘You don’t. All you care about is your precious hotel. Face it, the only reason you called me is because you’re in a hole. What would have happened if Emilio hadn’t got arrested? I probably wouldn’t have heard from you again.’

‘That’s not true!’ I blurt. ‘I had a plan, actually…’

But it’s too late. I’m talking to a blank screen. Jock has gone and I know, without a doubt, that I’ve just made the biggest mistake of my life. I look around the lobby of the hotel, but all the excitement I normally feel about this place has gone. I should never have allowed Abby and Christopher to railroad me into accepting Emilio. I’m supposed to be the expert; neither of them knows the first thing about hospitality. I should have fought harder for Jock and, crucially, I should never have kept him in the dark. Yes, my intentions were good, but the result is just the same. I’ve betrayed him, and he has every right to be angry with me. Hot tears are pouring down my cheeks now. How the hell am I going to fix this?

31

By the time I wake from a restless night, just after five the next morning, I know what I have to do. I did call Jock several more times yesterday evening but, unsurprisingly, I always got diverted to voicemail. I messaged him too, telling him I was sorry, but I can see the messages are still unread this morning. If he won’t speak to me on the phone, I’ll have to go and see him face to face. I can’t leave things like this.

By seven o’clock, I’m on my way to the airport and I reckon it’s safe to call Abby without waking her. I can’t tell her I’m bunking off to try to fix my relationship with Jock, but if I make it about him professionally, she won’t have an issue. That’s my plan, anyway.

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