I sank deeper into the cushions. “Just got here. It’s... exactly the same. Weirdly reassuring, I guess.”
“Wow, try to contain your excitement.”
“Sorry. It’s just... a lot.”
There was a pause, and I braced myself for what was coming. “Hey, you know my guest bedroom is always free,” Jess said, her voice soft. “You don’t have to do this solo mission thing.”
I sighed, rubbing my temples. “We’ve been through this. I need space, okay? This place is just sitting here, anyway.”
“Yeah, I get it,” she said, but I could practically picture her rolling her eyes. “I just... I worry, you know? Especially after the whole Todd thing.”
The name hit me like a punch to the gut. His perfect smile, those hands I once craved, all crap. The image of Todd throwing his head back, his hands tangled in his secretary’s hair as she gave him a blowjob at his office, flashed in my mind. “I’m fine,” I said, more for myself than for her. “This place... it’s my shot at a do-over. I need to get out of that whole mess.”
“Has he tried to contact you?”
“Nope. Radio silence. And that’s how I want it to stay.”
Another beat of quiet. “I’m sorry. You know I’m here for you, right?”
“Yeah, of course,” I said, softening a bit. “I just... I need to work through this. On my own. This move, it’s what I need right now.”
“Okay,” Jess said, but I could tell she wasn’t convinced. That was Jess for you, always ready to charge headfirst into problems. It was what I loved about her, but right now, it was also what was making it hard for her to get why I needed to run away for a while.
“How’s Ethan?” I said, changing the subject. “Did he ever apologize for being a colossal dick?”
She laughed, and it was a relief to hear. “He groveled for hours. You would’ve enjoyed it. We’re good now.”
“See? You two are solid. You don’t need me crashing on your couch and third-wheeling.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. You’re always welcome. But fine, I’ll back off for now. Just promise me you’ll come down to visit soon. It won’t be the same without you.”
“No promises, but I’ll keep in touch,” I said, though the thought of visiting the city so soon made me anxious. Still, it was too early to tell. Maybe in a few weeks, I’d be in a better place.
“Okay. I love you. Take care of yourself.”
“You too. Love you lots.”
I set the phone down and stretched.
One day at a time, I guess. That’s all I could manage for now. I stepped into the backyard and nearly choked. Grandma’s garden had gone rogue. The once-tidy veggie rows? Now it’s a weed forest tall enough to hide a car. And forget about tomatoes because the blackberry vines had staged a hostile takeover. Itwas like Mother Nature had thrown a wild party while everyone was out, and this was the morning-after carnage.
Rolling up my sleeves, I made my way to the tool shed. I grabbed the shears and headed back to the garden, starting with the blackberry vines. After a while, the tomato bed was visible now, though it looked more like a graveyard for plants than a garden.
I sank back to the ground and thought about Todd and the night he was found out.
“It wasn’t me. It was gravity!” Todd had sputtered, his pants still around his ankles. “She tripped and, well... you know.” I just stared, too numb to even roll my eyes. The sad part? I’d seen this coming for months. All those late nights at the office, the weird texts, the guilty looks. I’d ignored every red flag, hoping I was wrong. There I was, feeling like the world’s biggest idiot, watching my relationship implode in real-time.
Hurt? Yeah. Surprised? Not even close.
My mind kept wandering, jumping from one thought to another. Todd’s face popped up first. That lying bastard. Then the city with all its noise and bustle. Jess came next, probably pacing her apartment and plotting ways to drag me back. Finally, I landed on the big question mark that was my future. I knew this wouldn’t be some magical fix-it trip. The sting of everything was still there, raw and ugly. But being here, surrounded by Grandma’s stuff and memories, it felt... right, somehow.
Like I could breathe again.
I wiped the sweat off my brow and looked at the mess around me. Grandma wouldn’t have given up, so neither would I. Honestly, she’d probably bop me upside the head if she saw me moping like this. Standing up, I brushed the dirt off my jeans.
“Okay,” I said to the sky. “I hear you. No more pity parties.”
I’d stick it out here, work on this place, work on myself. It wouldn’t be pretty, and it wouldn’t be easy, but I owed it to her. To me.