Page 51 of Her Secret Santa

We spend it curled up together and sharing sleepy kisses, then Zade heats some breakfast for us to eat in bed before we get ready for the day. It’s our last day of work at the mall, the finale of Santa and his elf. Zade tells me about how it started out as nothing more than a PR plot to clean up his image, and how he didn’t take it seriously to begin with. As frustrating as it was to work with him in the beginning, it’s sweet to hear the story of how things changed from his perspective as his driver takes us toward the mall.

“It’s good that you decided to keep it a secret until after Christmas,” I say as we climb out of the car and head toward the entrance to the mall. “The kids would never have been able to enjoy themselves if there was a bunch of press covering it.”

“It would have been a press nightmare,” he says with a chuckle, opening the door from the parking garage.

I don’t have a chance to breathe before cameras are flashing and a roar of voices greet us. I stumble back, eyes blowing wide in instinctual terror as the click of camera shutters and shouted questions overwhelming me instantly.

“Mr. Hawthorne, how long have you been playing Santa?” one voice shouts.

“Zaiden, is it true that you insisted on playing Santa in order to develop a relationship with the head elf?” another chimes in.

“How long have you and Clara Sanders been dating?”

“Did Ms. Sanders use sexual favors to get her position at Hawthorne Enterprises?”

“Do you have any comments on the allegations of you misusing company funds to further your relationship?”

“Are the rumors of you having inappropriate relationships with other employees true?”

Zade immediately shoves himself between me and the rapidly encroaching press, reaching for me in a protective gesture, but I stumble away from him, absolutely horrified. How could he let something like this happen? Hepromisedthat he wouldn’t let the media hurt me. He told me not to worry about them.

But the media is part of his life, so what was he expecting when he wanted a serious relationship with me? Was he expecting to just keep me a secret? At his side, but never in the public eye? Is heashamedof me? He’s not even saying anything to argue the wild accusation against us, his face set in stony anger as he ignores the flashing cameras and shouted questions.

I stand and wait, hoping he’ll speak up. Hoping he’ll turn and bring me forward, stand up for me. Speak the truth. But instead, through the haze of shouts and flashing lights, I hear the question that breaks all my resolve.

“Zaiden, how do you feel about allowing a gold digging elf to tempt you into a controversial relationship?”

And I shatter. It feels like I’m alone on an island with millions of eyes on me, all screaming that I’m not worthy, that they can see every little flaw… and maybe they’re right.

I turn tail and run, dashing back into the parking garage with my heart hammering and my lungs tight. Panic and humiliation course through my veins, and I ignore Zade’s calls behind me.

I need to get out of here, away from all of this. I need clear air and quiet and a moment to fuckingthink.

I burst out of the parking garage and stumble my way through the packed sidewalks, frantically hailing a cab. As soon as one pulls up in front of me, I tumble into the backseat, gasping out Allie’s address and pleading with the driver to get me there fast.

Agonized sobs tear out of me, brutal and impossible to hold back. It feels like my entire body is tearing in two, the part of my heart that was so soft and trusting this morning calcifying and crumbling to dust in the course of a second. I can’t believe that he’d be so careless about all of this, that he’d promise to keep me out of the spotlight just to do nothing when I’m thrust into it. The lights and sparkling snow we pass feel like they’re mocking me, a bitter reminder of my dreams and wishes, circling down the drain along with my dignity.

So much for a Christmas fucking miracle.

Chapter Twenty-Two

ZADE

“Where the fuck is Gabriela?” I snap, pacing furiously along the length of Pax’s office.

“Worried you’ll lose your CEO title for fucking the help?” Landon asks smugly.

The crunch of his nose beneath my fist in the most satisfying thing I’ve felt in fuckingyears. I snarl down at him like a rabid dog as he collapses to the ground of Pax’s office clutching his face. Blood streams out between his fingers, red against pale skin, and he stares up at me with shocked, watery blue eyes.

The door slams open, Pax and Gabriela stopping in their tracks at the sight before them.

“For fuck’s sake, Zaiden,” Pax says with a harsh sigh. “Get yourself under control.”

He stomps in and pulls Landon up off the ground by his elbow, his face positively stormy.

“He fuckinghitme,” Landon wails, staring at me in horror.

“If I find out you had anything to do with this, I’ll do a lot fucking worse,” I bite out. “You’ll never step foot near Hawthorne Enterprises again, you pathetic little fucking worm of a?—”

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