Page 42 of Her Secret Santa

All eyes fly to us, nerves sitting heavily in the air.

“Gabriela Rockwell, everyone,” I introduce bluntly. “Everyone, Gabriela Rockwell. She and I are putting together a list of charitable donations and holiday gift ideas for companyinvestors and employees. We’d like at least one suggestion from all C-level staff and their VPs.”

I’m met with blank stares and pin-drop silence. All of my executives sit around the table, New York a glittering, snowy backdrop out the windows, and they all look like I’ve lost my damn mind. Considering it was hardly a month ago that I was insisting we cut bonuses and donations entirely, I don’t blame them for their surprise.

Pax stares at me from the end of the conference table, total shock written plainly across his features. Landon sits across from him, looking absolutely pissed as people start chiming in ideas. I’m not surprised that he’s not pleased—he’s losing all of his break room shit talk about me, after all.

My executives are still looking at me like I’m absolutely insane, but Gabriela fields questions and adds their suggestions to her notes.

“If anyone has further suggestions, email them to Gabriela or me. She’ll be finalizing all requests.” It’s getting close to ten thirty, and I still need to talk to Heidi before I leave for the mall. “I apologize for the late notice on all of this, but I appreciate your cooperation. Thank you all for your time.”

Usually, my executives at least toss a goodbye my way, but they all just sit there in heavy silence, gaping at me. I tug at the hem of my jacket and glance away from them, uncomfortable with their scrutiny, before nodding sharply and stepping out of the conference room. I leave the department heads and Gabriela to talk over anything else they need, heading for Heidi’s office.

I hardly make it ten feet down the hallway before my uncle’s voice stops me in my tracks.

“Zade!” He sounds breathless, and when I turn to face him, he has the widest smile I’ve ever seen on his face. “Zade, glad I caught you. I’ll be quick.”

He jogs down the hall to meet me, keeping his voice low as the other executives file out of the boardroom. They shoot confused, curious glances our way, but they all head toward the elevator at the other end of the hall.

“I know you were young when your dad passed, but Mitch always believed in you. He was a good man, a kind man, agenerousman,” Pax says, the words choked with emotion. “I didn’t get to see that side of him in you until now. I thought that part of my brother died with him, and I’m just glad you’re keeping it alive. Whatever the reason. Thank you, Zade.”

I was seventeen when my dad died. Young, sure, but old enough to understand the way things had happened. I knew about my dad’s childhood in foster care, and my uncle’s struggle with alcohol, the mess our family was before my dad buckled down and built Hawthorne Enterprises from the ground up. I just never lived it. It always felt so far away from my life, from the world I actually exist in, and it was easy to turn a blind eye to.

Until now, watching Clara keep giving and giving and giving until she has nothing left for herself.

Pax isn’t exactly right. I’m not the generous man my father was—and he wasn’t entirely selfless, either. He always ensured his own success first. But maybe one day I could be more like him. I want to be. I want to try.

After he died, I wanted to be as far away from anything that reminded me of him. I turned a blind eye to everything but my own interests and forgot about what was really important.

“Thankyou, Pax,” I say, clapping my hand over his shoulder and squeezing tightly. “I couldn’t do any of this without you.”

He claps me on the arm, his eyes watering ever so slightly, and nods firmly.

“You’re a good kid, Zade. Go do what you need to do, I’ll handle as much as I can here.”

I nod in agreement and turn away from him to continue toward Heidi’s office. I knock sharply on the door when I reach it and step inside without waiting for her to answer.

“Zade,” she says when I step inside, looking up at me with a proud, curious shine in her eyes. “I’m finalizing the documentation for the donations you requested.”

“Thank you.” She blinks in surprise, and I realize that’s the second time today I’ve said those words. Maybe I’m already changing for the better. “Can you set one more thing up for me?”

“Of course.”

“I want to host a Christmas party—a real one this time—and I want it to be a bit more formal. Something more like a masquerade ball. Gowns and tuxedos and masks, the whole deal.” I didn’t bother showing up to the one I approved for our investors, but now that Clara’s part of the company, I want it to be special. I want her Christmas ball fantasies to come true. “And I want Clara there. Send her an exclusive invitation, not the standard one.”

Heidi’s eyes widen slightly in surprise, and a warm smile teases at the corners of her lips. She’s been with the company since my dad started it, and she watched me grow up. I won’t begrudge her some grandmotherly gushing, not with how long she’s known me.

“Oh, Zaiden,” she coos, her cheeks pink, eyes sparkling with glee. “You send me the details and I’ll make it happen. I’m just happy you finally found someone.”

I can’t fight off the answering smile that stretches my face.

I have finally found someone. Now all I can do is hope she wants me the same way I want her—wholly and entirely, with none of the facade between us anymore.

“I’ll text you what I want the invitation to say,” I tell her. “And I want her best friend there, too. We’ll be sending themboth dresses and passes to a spa. Do you know a nice one in the city?”

She beams at me, already scrawling out notes on the post-it in front of her.

“Of course. I’ll get it all set up,” she promises.

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