Page 170 of Piece Us Together

So much crying, these boys of mine. I have no fucking idea how I’ve managed to keep myself from it tonight. Maybe because I know if I start, I’ll never stop. They need me too much for that. I can’t fall apart tonight. Later. I’ll fall apart later. Not tonight.

“What happened?” Nolan asks, his voice breaking. He hurries over, the water in the bowl splashing a little. I catch the bowl before he can drop it. “What’s wrong?”

Maison has already pulled away, running his hand over his face.

“He’s okay,” I promise, dipping a cloth into the bowl as Nolan settles behind Maison with his hands on his shoulders. “It’s just an emotional night. Everyone needs to sleep. We all just—we need to sleep.”

“I can clean myself,” Maison says. It’s not an argument, though. It’s more ashamed. As if he thinks I shouldn’t have to do this for him.

“I want to.” I tuck the cloth up behind his ear before slowly dragging it down, leaving a trail of clean skin behind as I move toward his clavicle. “Just let me take care of you. Be good for me.”

And he does.

He lets me undress him until he’s naked. Lets me clean him. Dry him. He lets me check the edges of his bandages. Dress him in fresh underwear. He lets me bring him a bottle of water and two packets of extra-strength Tylenol from the aftercare basket. Tuck him into the bed.

Nolan is next as Maison watches with heavy-lidded eyes. I go to get the soapy water and cloth this time, telling Nolan to undress while I do. I find him sitting on the edge of the mattress, naked and waiting. I wipe his face clean of tears and snot. Then I lay him back and carefully remove the cage that’s been helping to keep him grounded. A cage I told him wouldn’t be removed until our boy returned.

More tears well up in his eyes as I say, “He came back to us, see?”

He stifles a sob, nodding. I kiss him, slow and reassuring, then guide him to Maison’s side of the bed and tell him to curl up with him.

“What about you, sir?” he asks, sounding just as tired as Maison looks.

“I’ll be right there. Just give me a few minutes to clean everything up, lock the doors, and turn the lights out. Get comfortable for me, okay?”

His eyes are already sliding shut. “M’kay, sir.”

“Promise you’ll come?” Maison mumbles. “You’ll join us?”

“Promise.”

I lean over, kissing each of their foreheads.

I pull the door nearly closed behind me, my legs starting to feel weak and wobbly as I hurry toward the front door. I’m alreadypulling my phone out of my pocket before I’ve even managed to shove my feet into my boots. I forget a jacket. I don’t give a fuck about it.

Travis answers almost immediately, sighing before he says, “I thought maybe you’d be calling.”

“What the fuck,” I growl.

“Hey, man, I feel the same. Since when are you—I don’t even know how to describe it. Since when are you with them? Fucking them? Friends with them?”

“You don’t get to ask questions. It’s my turn.”

“I’m not telling you where he was or what he was doing, Hunter. It’s not my place.”

“I don’t want to hear it from you. I wanthimto tell me. To tell me everything. I already know Nolan wants that, too, including the things Nolan was involved in.” I close my eyes, feeling a headache forming from the effort of holding back tears. “But I’m pretty fucking sure his story involves you and Carter. Can you—will you please tell him that it’s okay for him to tell it? The whole story?”

Travis hesitates. “I’ll need to ask Carter, but…yeah. I’m sure it’ll be okay.”

“Can you ask now? Or soon? I need this from him. Tomorrow, probably. I can’t do this anymore. I’m drowning in their secrets.”

“What if it ruins things? You knowing, I mean.”

“It won’t.”

“The story isn’t a happy one, Hunter. It’s dark. Complicated. There’s—the lines aren’t clear, between good and bad.”

“Itwon’t,” I say again.

---