Page 154 of Piece Us Together

“Hunter—”

“I told you,” I choke out, my chest aching, my eyes burning. “I told you it was killing me, taking the scraps, taking whatever I can get. I told you that. You said—” I stop, shaking my head because I am such a fucking idiot. I laugh, even. Laugh at my idiocy. Laugh at the fact I’ve managed to get myself here, heartbroken, twice in the same fucking week. “But you didn’t say, did you? You said the two of you love me. You never said that meant I’d get all of you. I shouldn’t have presumed that. Hell, everything we talked about since—I can’t be upset, you’re right. It’snotfair. You never said that was going to change. I assumed. You know what they say about people who do that.”

He moves forward, coming around the end of the breakfast bar. I stumble back a step. He freezes, a choked sound coming from his throat.

“Hunter, please don’t do this. I—you don’t want to know. Okay?”

“I don’t want to know what might keep you from ever coming back to us? Seriously?”

He flinches, his eyes falling away.

I strike during the moment of possible indecision, my heart racing. “What if I safeword? Would you stay?”

Maison’s shoulders slump. He doesn’t look at me, but he nods. He sounds miserable when he says, “Please don’t use that against me.Please.” He lifts his gaze to mine. There are more tears now, steadily falling. “Don’t ask me to choose, because I’ll choose the two of you, okay? And I’ll never forgive myself. I’ll never be able to live with it.”

How the fuck am I supposed to say no to that?

How the fuck am I supposed to say yes?

His phone rings. He flinches, but he doesn’t move to answer it. His eyes stay on me. Waiting. Waiting for me to either break him or break myself.

I already know which option I’ll pick. It’s the same one, every time.

“Promise me you’ll do everything you can to come back to us,” I concede.

For a moment, he looks relieved. Then the dread creeps in. He shuts it down. Shuts himself down.

He moves forward again, suddenly looking sure and strong. A man carrying the weight of the world. A man about to go to a war I can’t see.

I let him cup my face with his shaking hands. Let him bring his mouth to mine in a desperate, teary kiss. Let him just rest his forehead against mine as he tries to breathe. “I will go to theend of the fucking Earth to try to come back to the two of you. I promise, Hunter. Okay? Ipromise.”

It’s not enough, but he’s begging me to pretend it is.

One more time, I tell myself.

I’ll let him get away with this one more time. I’ll let him do whatever he feels like he needs to do. But when he gets back, it’s all cards on the table.Everyone’scards. Something has to change. We can’t do this. This isn’t okay. The secrets, the lies, but more than anything, the danger. I can’t let him throw himself to invisible wolves time and time again.At some point, it has to be enough, doesn’t it? What is he fighting for? When is it over?

His phone starts up again.

He releases a resigned sigh before pulling away. His hand is already digging in his pocket as he backs away from me, eyes never leaving mine. “Take care of him. Let him take care of you, too. If one of you needs it, it’s okay to fuck. To play. Just—take care of each other, yeah?”

“Until you get back,” I can’t help but say. “Then we’ll all take care of each other.”

I see him waver. For just a moment, I actually think he might decide to stay home after all. To let us take care of him. To take care of us in return.

He tightens his grip on the phone in his hand. His voice is rough when he asks, “Say you love me?”

I can’t help but smile, even if it’s shaky and sad. “I love you, Maison. I love you very much.”

He exhales, slow and calming. Relieved, maybe. “I love you, too.”

He turns away.

I watch him put the phone to his ear as he hurries toward the door. He doesn’t bother with his jacket, only pausing to stuff hisfeet in his boots. It takes me a moment to understand why that is weird. Why it sticks.

As he says, “Impatient fucker, I said I was fucking coming,” I realize he must not have his gun. The gun he always keeps in his jacket. The gun he dismantled for me the night he chose to finally give himself to me.

Finally, Maison felt safe enough to come here unarmed.

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