Page 88 of The Fallen Ones

Still didn’t hate it. I felt liberated and beyond energized.

That was two guys who said I was theirs. All I needed to do was cancel my date with Brandon.

I bit my bottom lip as I contemplated it.What if they weren’t serious and I didn’t hang out with Brandon?I’d lose that opportunity. I was trying to let go and get myself to a point where a relationship was something I wanted.

Now that I was finding myself wandering that place, I didn’t want to screw anything up. I had to at least try. As much as I wanted to go back to Jace and tell him I was sorry, I pushed on, telling myself I cared too much about him to drag him down into my personal hell of indecision.

If I could just do a practice relationship, maybe I’d be able to go back to Jace and talk to him about everything. I knew Jace cared about me. I’d heard about him and Brandon fighting on campus. While it angered me, it also hurt me because I didn’t like that Jace was hurting. He acted like everything was fine. It made me want to go to him, but I wasn’t ready to face him like that, especially since my thoughts were so confusing.

I needed a lot more practice before any of that. Brandon could be that guy. Maybe it would work. Maybe it wouldn’t. I could fall in love with him. I could hate him. I wouldn’t know until I tried though.

I owed these experiences to myself. I’d wasted so many years holding back because of the trauma from my mom’s experience and death that I’d started to lose myself before I’d even found out who I was.

It still made me feel like a shitty person. Caleb and Damien both crossed my mind, sending my confusing thoughts spiraling further.

I was in the center of a real mess.

Deep down, I knew if the masked trio really did come forward, I’d fall into their arms, no questions asked.

I didn’t know what any of that meant and that really did frighten me. This was all new territory for me. Traversing it wasn’t something I knew how to do, so I was winging it all.

Groaning, I forced myself up and to the bathroom where I ran a nice hot bath. After undressing, I sank into the bubbles, letting out a breath of contentment.

I laid that way for a long time, more thoughts tumbling through my mind, but one that stuck was the excitement at the third mask man claiming me on his own. The anticipation of not knowing when or where had my heart pounding.

I made a vow to myself right then and there that I’d go out more so the likelihood of that encounter would be higher.

Smiling at the decision, I washed myself quickly, wincing when I touched my tender bits before I got out. Staring in the mirror, I grimaced. The masked man had left loads of hickeys on my neck. There was even a bruise from his bite.

Gingerly, I touched the bruise, hissing at the pain.

God, he was wild.

I quickly dried off and went to my room where I searched through my closet for a turtleneck. Finding my black one, I tugged it on over my bra and hauled on a pair of black skinny jeans. After doing my hair and makeup, I went to my living room, wincing beneath the pain I was still in.

It didn’t stop me from wanting more of it though.

A knock on the door sounded out, letting me know Brandon had arrived. I pulled the door open to see him standing in the hall in a blue polo and dockers.

“Hey, you look good,” he said, offering his hand to me. I grabbed my purse off the hook and closed and locked my door. I took his hand.

“Thank you.”

“You OK?” he asked as we walked down the hall. He hit the button on the elevator and released my hand.

“Yes. I’m great.”

“Are you sore? You’re walking a little weird.”

“Oh.” My face heated. “I-I’m fine. I was working out. Maybe pulled a muscle.”

“Ah.”

We stepped into the elevator and walked to the lobby before outside. We went to his fancy sports car parked in the lot, but he didn’t bother to open my door for me. I frowned at that. Jace and Caleb always opened the door for me. Hell, even Damien did.

Deciding to shove that idea away, I got into the front and put my seatbelt on.

“You know, I actually studied a little massage,” Brandon said. “I could massage you if you want.”

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