Page 9 of The Fallen Ones

“I get it. Jace was a dick.”

I let out a little laugh. “He had his moments, but he was so sweet with me.”

“You mean his blatant jealousy?” He raised his brows at me.

I shrugged. “I liked he cared so much, I guess. It was selfish of me to keep him on the hook though. I regret doing that to him.” I paused for a moment. “He still calls. I don’t answer. He sends me texts. I don’t answer those either. I just don’t understand why he’d do those things if he’s off collecting newnumbers and…” Again, my voice trailed off. If he really were out there fucking other girls, it hurt. A hell of a lot. My chest clenched at the pain the thought brought. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply as a means to quell the hurt.

Caleb didn’t say anything, but he watched me, concern all over his face. He seemed like he wanted to say something but fought the words. After a long beat of silence, he finally cleared his throat.

“So. There’s a party coming up.”

I raised an eyebrow at the sudden shift in conversation. “A party?”

He nodded. “Yeah, at Satan’s Hollow,” he continued, his voice eerily casual. A slight edge pierced his words though, making me lean in as if being closer would offer insight. I caught a whiff of his cologne and swallowed thickly. I loved the way Caleb smelled. So crisp and clean. Breathing him in always did something funny to the butterflies low in my stomach. I pushed that surge of emotion away, not ready to grapple with it because if losing Jace was hard, losing Caleb would be harder. He was all I had in this world. I couldn’t risk my ridiculous feelings for him screwing everything up. I was experiencing heartbreak firsthand already with Jace, I didn’t want to go through that ever with Caleb.

“This party. It’s different,” he said.

“I’ve heard of it. It’s a masked event so no one knows who is who. Mostly rich people.”

“Right. So I was thinking it might help if you went.” He gave me a quick look.

“Me? Go?” I let out a laugh that held anything but humor. “Why would I do that?”

“Because, Lil, it’s anonymous. You can just be whoever you need to be for the night. There are no expectations. No strings. You just have a good time and roll with whatever happens.”

“Caleb, it’s a sex party,” I blurted out. “Everyone knows it’s about hookups. I don’t…I don’t do that.”

“Maybe you should.” He leveled his gaze on me. “It’s purely hookups, so you wouldn’t feel so pressured to commit. I think it would be good for you.”

“To lose my virginity to some random party bro?” I scoffed at how ridiculous it sounded. “No thanks.”

“Lil, I’m being serious. It would take the pressure off for you. I know you’re worried about commitments and all that. You wouldn’t have to worry. This would give you an experience you might actually like. Think of it as a way to heal and alter things. Besides, if Jace is out there fucking other women, maybe turn the tables on him.”

“By fucking someone else when I wouldn’t fuck him?” I shook my head. “That’s insane.”

He sighed but didn’t look away from me.

I stared back at him, trying to work out why he was pushing this. Caleb didn’t party a lot and Satan’s Hollow had a reputation for being a wild place to party. It was a mansion on campus one of the frat’s lived in. Those guys had a rep of getting around. A lot. More money than brains is what I’d always thought.

The idea of Caleb wanting me to attend a party like this was blowing my mind. It simply wasn’t like him.

“Why are you trying to get me to go?” I asked, studying him.

He shrugged, the tension still very much visible in his body. “I was just thinking, you know, maybe it’s something to help you. That it’s something you should try. You spend your life avoiding being seen, being in love, falling…I don’t know. I just want you to have some happiness. You deserve it. I think this will give you a night you’ll never forget.”

I wasn’t quite sure how to respond to his words. They weren’t necessarily wrong, but at the same time, they were so outlandish and definitely not me that I wasn’t sure how to process them.The bigger issue was that I was finding myself intrigued by the idea of it all, and that was scaring me.

“So I’d go and just hook up with a stranger?”

Caleb shifted and fully faced me. “I’m not telling you that. I’m just saying give it a try and see where the night leads. Letting go a little bit can be therapeutic, and let’s face it, Lil. You’ve been harboring a lot of heartbreak in your life. This could be what makes it all better, you know? Who knows. Maybe meaningless sex without the fear of commitment might be just what you need.”

I nervously twisted my fingers together at his words. “Caleb…I-I don’t even know how to have sex. I’d probably end up doing it wrong.”

“You wouldn’t, Lil. You know you wouldn’t.” He leaned into me the same time I leaned into him. His warm touch glided gently along my jaw. “It’s easy. You kiss. You touch.” He moved in closer. “You just let go. Let your body do what it wants. What it desires.”

I exhaled a shaky breath, those butterflies dancing wildly in my stomach at his nearness. I licked my lips, and his eyes darted to the motion, making my heart bang harder in my chest.

Were his eyes always so blue? His lips so…kissable?