If I had to make her scream to understand, I would.
That’s what friends were for.
Chapter 28
Lily
Itried to find Caleb in the crowd later that night, but I hadn’t spotted him since he’d grabbed hold of me. Truth be told, he scared me. I’d never seen him so angry before. I was angry too though. He’d hurt me by running out the night at my apartment after our kiss, or rather the kiss I’d given him. I knew I’d hurt him with my words. All I wanted to do was talk it out, but not when he was being such an ass. I knew I needed to apologize and explain myself, but he really made it hard when he was behaving the way he was.
“I like this necklace.” Brandon reached out and lifted the locket off my chest Caleb had given me for Christmas the year before. “What’s inside?”
“It’s a picture of me and Caleb,” I said.
He raised his brows at me. “That’s the friend, right?”
I nodded.
“It’s weird you guys are so close.”
“He’s like a brother to me,” I answered, wincing at my words. I needed to stop saying that. The feelings I had for him definitely weren’t sibling feelings. The same went for Damien. The night in the car with him was still racing through my mind.
Brandon scoffed. “Babe. That guy wants you. Friends don’t try to get you away from getting asked to dance.”
I breathed out at his words, not believing them. Caleb didn’t want me. And if he had, it was over now anyway since I’d hurt him with my words.
Sighing, I scanned the crowd of partygoers looking for him, but he wasn’t around. My heart plummeted. All I wanted to do was make things right with us. Things weren’t good when I didn’t have him to commiserate with.
“You were going to ask me to dance?” I looked back to Brandon.
He held out his hand. “Will you dance with me?”
I hesitated for a moment, scanning the crowd once more. This time not for Caleb. This time was for the three masked men. It was crazy of me to think they’d turn up here in their masks to claim me. It was a one and done thing I needed to just let go of. Take the memory and just replay it because it wasn’t ever going to happen again.
I slid my palm against Brandon’s and let him lead me out to dance. He tugged me against his body, his lips a breath from mine as he ground against me. I wasn’t one to go out and dance like this, but I was angry just a little bit too. At myself. At the masked trio for not turning up again. At Caleb for confusing me. At Damien for being Damien and at Jace for being so calm earlier when I’d seen him. He blew so hot and cold I had no idea what was happening. One minute I thought he wanted me and the next he was just…normal.
It shouldn’t matter to me if Jace wanted me back. I was the one who ended it, but I had a lot of regrets in doing so. Jace was good to me, despite his wanting to pressure me into sex. It was the constant pressure that got me. But it was also my fault too for leading him on and making him think I was ready when I wasn’t. I had no business being in a relationship, but now thatI’d gone through and lost my virginity and experienced things, I was starting to think I did want more.
Caleb was right. It was lonely being alone. I wanted what I’d had with Jace. I feared I’d screwed it up too much though, and fear, as I was learning, was a bitch.
Brandon’s hard-on pressed against me, making my face heat. He chuckled softly at me noticing. I’d drank enough tonight to know I wasn’t exactly in my right mind. I needed social lubrication it seemed to perform being human with people.
Instead of pulling away, I let my confusion and anger take hold. I danced back against Brandon, earning a sexy grin from him, his hands all over my body. Across the room, I caught Jace staring at me as a couple of the guys from the football team laughed around him. He didn’t look happy. It hurt me he was hurting, but I’d seen him with girls soon after we broke up, so now he knew what that felt like.
Not that any of this was his fault, but I was drunk and upset and just didn’t want to care anymore. I’d spent my entire life caring and I was so over it.
“Want to go upstairs?” Brandon cooed in my ear, his hands moving up my waist.
Did I? I’d wanted to try with just one person tonight, but something within me wasn’t feeling it now. Maybe I just had too much on my mind. Maybe I’d drank too much. Whatever it was, I just wanted to relax and have fun.
“No,” I answered, continuing to dance against him.
He let out a soft growl of frustration. “How do I get you upstairs then?”
I looked up at him. “Take me on a date first.”
He smirked. “You want me to take you on a date? You know you’re Jace’s ex, right? He’d be so pissed if I started dating you.”
“I think he’d be pissed if you took me upstairs,” I said.