Page 61 of Sinful

Ashes dropped a kiss on the top of my head and went outside to Sin and Stitches, who were smoking on the back patio while the snow fell around them. Cady was fast asleep on the end of the couch.

Bryce had barely spoken to me today. In fact, he maybe said ten whole words total to anyone.

I was torn between him and Mirage. I wanted to go to both. Instead, I sat with cushions between us all on the couch.

“Rinny,” Mirage called out. “Sweetheart.”

Bryce snapped his attention to Mirage, a sour look on his face.

“What’s wrong,Vanilla?” Mirage cocked his head to the right. “Mad because I’m brave enough to reach out to her?”

I didn’t like him provoking Bryce. Bryce was sweet and kind. Seeing the sadness morph across his face didn’t sit well with me.

Quickly, I slid over to Mirage and pressed my finger to his lips.

He went silent, his blue eyes drinking me in.

My breath caught in my chest when he leaned in and whispered in my ear.

“Go to him. I already know you want me, my sweet dream.” His lips brushed against the shell of my ear. “They won’t be back in for many minutes. I promise it’s OK.”

I pulled away and stared into his eyes.

How was it OK? It was wrong because my feelings were confusing. And it wasn’t confusing in a way where I didn’t know what I wanted. The longer I was around Bryce, the more I was realizing these feelings were growing. The guys would never allow it, though. But damn, I missed him. Wanted him.

I shoved that last thought away.

We were friends. It would be weird. . .

“It won’t be weird,” Mirage said gently. “Is it weird for us?”

I frowned.

Of course, it was weird. There wasn’t even an us. There were just these weird thoughts in my head I was trying to shuffle through. Even with Bryce, it was that way. What I was supposed to do about it, I had no clue. I knew the guys were more likely to be OK with Asylum/Mirage joining than Bryce. Maybe.

I cast a look to the outside to see Ashes and Stitches standing on either side of Sin, their backs to us. They were clearly getting along and chatting like they once did. I smiled, the thought that maybe they could get over everything making me happy.

My gaze slid to Bryce, who was staring down at his hands on his lap.

To hell with it. I cared about him.

I slid over to him and placed my hand over his.

He looked up from his hands and into my eyes.

“Hey,” he said, his voice low.

I struggled to get my words out. When they failed me, I let out a frustrated grunt. Hatred for the person I’d become spread through my body, making me shiver. We sat in silence for so long it became awkward because all I wanted to do was talk to him. I glanced to the guys to see that they were still out there, but for how much longer, I had no clue. Not long, I’d assume. It was cold outside.

I closed my eyes, letting the darkness peek out.

The darkness had an easier time speaking, but it frightened me. I’d always kept it locked up. I’d ignored it all these years, pushing it to the back of my personality. My mind. Forcing it away because I had no idea how to really control it.

I had to try, though. As terrifying as it was, I had to try.

Inhaling, I focused on controlling it as much as I could.

It slipped out further. My body felt fuzzy.

---