Page 183 of Sinful

The TV droned on in the background. It was some romance movie. It struck me as odd that Church had been watching this shit. I supposed maybe he figured she’d like this stuff.

And hell, maybe she did. All I knew was that I was desperate to find that out and more about her.

No one had seen Adam on campus, so we couldn’t even take our frustrations out on him. Everything was at a standstill. No Sirena. No Adam. No fucking answers.

“I miss you,” I murmured to her as I held her hand. “What can I do to bring you back? I can’t stand that you’re here, but you’re not. It’s killing me. Please. I don’t know what to do, siren. Fuck, baby. I just need a sign to know you’re in there and simply working on things so you’re stronger. You’re already so strong, though. And you have me now. And you could have Mirage. Asylum. Even Bryce if you wanted him. I’m sure of it. We need you to come back. We’re so lost without you.” I crawled into bed beside her and straddled her small body. Carefully, I took her face in my hands and cradled it while leaning down, my lips a fraction from hers.

“You are my Sleeping Beauty. Let me be the prince who wakes you. Please,” I whispered. “I’m begging you, siren. Come home. I need you so fucking much.”

My tears fell on her face as I brushed my lips against hers. I lingered for a moment before pulling away, my heart heavy because she continued to sleep.

Maybe I wasn’t her Prince Charming.

My heart sank at that thought while she continued to slumber.

So much for fucking fairy tales.

It didn’t matter though. Maybe I’d have to rewrite the story. Tell it a different way.

Maybe in this story, it was the villain who woke the princess.

“Please let me be the villain,” I whispered before kissing her again.

SIRENA

Please let me be the villain.

Somewhere far away, I heard Sin’s voice. My heart jumped at the sound of it. It felt like forever since I’d heard anyone. Or registered any presence aside from the darkness.

I’d been wallowing in it for ages.

I wanted to go home.

I dreamed of the guys. Mirage. Bryce. Asylum. Church. Stitches. Ashes. Sinful. All of them were begging me to come back. Making promises to protect me. To keep me safe. To love me. To do anything I asked of them.

But I didn’t want that.

I wanted to protect myself. I wanted to be the one who could handle my business. The fear that dwelled inside me needed to go away. There was only one way to make that happen.

Stop wallowing in the darkness I hid in and become it.

The darkness was what my guys were. It made them stronger. I hid behind my trauma. Embracing it could change everything.

Please let me be the villain.

Maybe I wanted to be a villain too.

All I needed to do was wake up. Take what was mine. Claim it. Own it. I could be brave. . . right?

Please, god, I want to be brave.

He begged me softly. His voice grew clearer. Dampness. He cried quietly, not wanting anyone to know he was doing it.

Sinful.

My Sinful.

Please. I want to be brave. Help me. Please, god, help me!

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