Page 84 of Sinful

I came hard, my eyes on him, my release gushing free from me in a wet mess, soaking his sheets. His feral groan followed, letting me know he’d gotten off with me.

We both sat panting for several long moments before Church let out a soft laugh.

“Oh, specter. You are so full of surprises.”

I sat and pulled his sheet over my body. He’d moved the phone so it was focused on his handsome face, his green eyes illuminated in the light from the screen. I brought the phone closer to my face and stared at him, missing him so much my heart hurt.

“I’m coming home soon,” he said gently. “I’m sorry I don’t call as much as I should. Honestly, specter, it pains me to see you and know I’m not there. Seeing you makes me want you even more, and that’s dangerous when I’m here, but fuck, baby, I miss you.” He exhaled. “I love you more than life itself, Sirena. I’m always watching over you. I’ll be home soon, OK?”

I nodded, my eyes burning with unshed tears.

“Thank you for tonight. Soon, I will hold you in my arms again and make love to you in our cemetery. Be my sweet, strong girl. Keep the guys happy, but give them hell when you need to. I like knowing they’re scrambling.” He smiled at me as I wiped at my eyes. “I would slay the entire world for you, Sirena. Sweet dreams, my little ghost.”

The feed cut off, leaving me in silence and sadness.

The call should have made me feel better, but it made me feel worse. All I wanted was to hold him. Love him. Be with him. All of us together, but as long as his father and the monsters were calling the shots, it would be this way.

What I needed to do was find Adam and just start the fight here and now.

The darkness ebbed through me, making me inhale deeply.

I focused on it, feeling it taint the edges of my light.

Someday, I’d have to be brave enough to embrace it. Today wasn’t that day, though.

Today, I curled around Church’s pillow and closed my eyes, wishing I could change things and knowing that without strength, I’d never get to. Wishing I could love the men I loved, all of them, even the ones I dare not whisper their names.

Maybe tomorrow would change it all.

It was the best I could hope for.

SIN

“Sin! Hey, wait up,” Ashes called out, trotting down the hallway toward me. I stopped and waited for him, taking in how he seemed exhausted with the dark circles around his blue eyes and the way his smile wasn’t quite as bright as I was used to seeing.

It felt like too long since I’d been alone with Sirena. When they didn’t need me, I kept my distance as promised, but it was eating me up inside to be a silent bystander.

“Hey,” I greeted him. “Uh, what’s up?” I winced at the gnawing ache on my side. I’d whipped myself earlier that morning, and the wounds were tender on my broken skin.

“I was wondering if you could hang out with Sirena tonight. I need to burn, and I don’t want to take her out into the cold. Plus, I don’t want her to freak out since we’ll be in the woods.” He sighed. “I think her being home in the warmth would be best.”

“So just you and Stitches would be going out?”

“And me.” Mirage joined us, his rabbit mask in place.

Ashes raised his brows at Mirage. “You want to come with us?”

“Yes. I already know that I will, so there is no sense fighting it.” He winked at Ashes, who didn’t even look interested in fighting it.

Instead, we stopped our walk and made a small circle to converse.

“You look different today,” Ashes said, narrowing his eyes at Mirage.

It was Mirage’s turn to raise his brows. “Do I? How so? Same mask. Same…smile.”

“I don’t know. Did you cut your hair or something?”

“No. I brushed it, though.”