Page 169 of Sinful

“Malachi?”

“Yeah?” I grunted, reaching for my meds on my nightstand. Truly, fuck this shit.

“You OK? I heard you. . .” Sin’s voice trailed off.

“Yeah, man. I’m fine. Just a bad dream.” I popped a pill into my mouth and swallowed it dry.

Sin stepped into my room and closed the door. The moon was bright, so it lit the place up in an eerie sort of way. Seemed fitting, considering my nightmares.

He walked forward and sat on the edge of my bed.

“What can I do to help?” he asked.

I grunted and lay back against my pillows.

“Ain’t nothing you can do. It’s over. This is the aftermath.” I lightly touched the scar on my face from where I’d carved off a tat in my delirium.

“There has to be something,” Sin whispered. “It’s my fault—”

“Look. It’smyfault, not yours. I’m the one with control issues who lost his shit. That was me, Sinclair. Not you. I knew what I was doing. Don’t keep blaming yourself for my issues. They’re mine, OK? Stop trying to steal them.” I gave him a small smile, hoping to discourage him from chasing this shit. I hated that it happened and wanted to be free from it. That freedom came whenever I opened my eyes and left the nightmares behind.

“If I wouldn’t have—”

“Listen to me, Sinclair. We could argue about this all night, OK? I could blame my mother for spreading her legs and letting me be created. It’s her fault I’m here at all. So don’t do this shit. I’m dealing with it.”

“Are you?” He peered at me, a frown on his face.

“I am. I’m not strong like Sirena is,” I mused. “I tend to dwell. I admire her for her strength.”

“She is strong,” he agreed. “But she hurts too. She wakes from bad dreams.”

“I know,” I answered simply. “I’ve held her through them, and she’s held me through mine. I guess we’re bonded in the same darkness. She. . .getsme. Shared trauma.” I shrugged and looked away, my throat tight with the thought of her going through being hurt the way she was by the monster in the woods. I remembered my fear. Knowing hers made it that much worse.

Fuck, I wanted to hang whoever hurt her with my rope from the highest tree in the forest. I prayed I got the chance. Maybe we’d play piñata with him. Beat him as he hung, until his guts sprang free and slopped to the snow below.

“Yo prevaleceré,” I said. “I will prevail. It is the only option.”

“And you will. I know you.” Sin lay back beside me in bed.

I smiled at that.

“Did you get a tattoo?” I asked, noticing dark marks on his back.

“Yeah. I, uh, saw Cass Whitman a few days ago. Had him tat Sirena’s claw marks onto my back. They were still swollen, so he had no issue making them permanent.”

“Nice,” I said. “Wish I’d have done that. Guess there’s still time to get her to claw my back, huh?”

He let out a little laugh, settling in further beside me.

“How’s Sirena?” I finally asked.

“Church came into my room and took her to his,” he answered, staring up at my ceiling. “I expect he’s apologizing in his own way.”

“Most likely.”

“I have been hogging her lately, haven’t I?”

“Yep.” I popped the p on the word. “But I get it. When I finally gave in, I did the same. I probably drove Church and Ashes nuts with it. So it’s cool. You deserve to have time with her too.”

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