Page 136 of Sinful

I blinked, the vision of the hellish destruction in my head clearing.

Damnit. I was really losing it.

“What’s wrong?” Sin pressed softly. “Talk to me, beautiful.”

I blinked at him, my heart pounding. He crinkled his brows as he took in my face like he knew what I was thinking.

“I don’t like that you still think about that night.” His voice came out in a low, sad, shaky hum, confirming my thoughts. “I-I can’t stop blaming myself for it. Fuck. If I could go back in time, siren, I’d change it all—”

I silenced him with a kiss. I hated that he hated himself. He had issues. We all did. It was no reason to continue to punish ourselves over them.

He cradled my face with his hands while deepening the kiss. I parted my lips, allowing him all the control he wanted.

“I want to take the ugly memories away,” he whispered against my lips between kisses. “I want to replace them with everything I can give you. My promise is to keep you safe always. My touch. My devotion. My love.”

Butterflies fluttered in my chest at his sweet words.

I wanted all of that and more. Without a doubt.

“Fuck, I want to give you a world I never had, baby.” He’d managed to shift me back on the couch so he was balancing on his elbows over me, his gray eyes filled with so much adoration that it made my breath catch.

His lips brushed gently against mine before he stared down at me again.

“That night. That I-I did that to you. I wanted to come back, but I was scared. Terrified. So fucking stupid. I knew then that I loved you. I just didn’t realize what the feeling was because it was all-consuming. I’ve never felt anything like it before. I-I believed it was hate.” He bit his bottom lip for a moment. “I ran. I wasn’t going to come back because I knew what I’d done was going to fuck everything up.” A pained expression crossed his face which broke my heart.

He made to move off me, but I gripped his shirt and brought him back.

“Stop running, Sinful,” I whispered to him.

“Oh, siren.” His lips descended on mine again, stealing the breath from my lungs.

It was me who took the lead this time, kissing him hard and deep, desperate to let him know who loved and wanted him. That I forgave him. That I understood.

His hands traversed my body, his dick hard as he pressed between my legs. With my fingers tangled in his messy hair, I tugged him closer and jutted my hips up to grind against him. He let out a soft moan against my lips and rocked forward for me. My pussy vibrated with want as we rubbed against one another.

But just as the heat began to build, Stitches’s face entered my mind. His words. My promise.

Damnit to hell.

I broke the kiss off, knowing it was for the best. If I screwed this up, it could cause more issues when Church returned. I didn’t want him to return to me fucking someone he was mad at. Risking Sin for an intense orgasm wasn’t worth it. When this happened between us, I wanted all the magic, not simply a few minutes of rubbing against each other.

“What’s wrong?” Sin’s voice came out breathless when I broke the kiss off. “Am I hurting you? I’m sorry.” He immediately stopped and moved off me, his fingers in his hair and his eyes downcast. “I-I get excited. I’m so fucking grateful for you, siren. I got carried away. I know you’re going through shit, and this might have been too much—”

I sat up and reached for him. He came to me, a sad look on his face that all but broke my heart.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered again. “It was too much. I always push for too much.”

Desperate, I pulled away from him and grabbed our notebook. As fast as I could, I scribbled a note to him, wishing my words could just come from my mouth instead of only random things at random times.

It’s not you. I want you. I want this. I don’t want to hurt Church, though. His feelings on this matter to me too. If I do this with you, it could hurt him. I don’t want anyone hurt. I love him like I love you.

Sin’s gray eyes took in my words. I watched as he stared at the paper for a moment before he turned to me, his brows crinkled.

“You love me too, siren?”

I answered by leaning in and brushing my lips against his.

The notebook fell to the ground. He swept me into his arms and clung to me, his face buried in my neck, his arms wound tightly around me.

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