Page 132 of Into the Fire

“No. You don’t need to say anything,” he said, cutting me off. “We’ve established everything was a massive fuck-up. I’m sorry for my part in it. You know that.”

“I know. It’s not just your fault. I lost myself that night, and I-I wanted. . .” my words faltered as I stared into his blue eyes. I didn’t know how I couldn’t see it before. How much he resembled Fox. How much I really cared.

Damnit.

I shoved the feelings away.

“I know,” he said gently. “It’s OK. We never have to speak of it again if that’s what you want. We can pretend it never happened and move forward. I would be more than OK with that.”

I nodded. “OK. That’s what I want.”

He let out a breath. “Good, LeeLee. I want that too. Truly. I’ve missed you. How are you?”

“I’m OK. We pushed the wedding back. We’re going to do the engagement party in August instead. We’ve discussed it further, and it makes sense.” A sense of calm washed over me. We were OK. Everything was OK.

He raised his brows. “Oh. OK. That’s great then.”

“It is. I feel relieved.”

“Good.” He smiled. “There’s a sing-off this weekend again if you want to go. Grand prize is a night at the Game Room. Free admission and bumper cars. Care to help lead the team to victory?”

A genuine smile erupted from me. “Yeah. I’d like that.”

“Perfect. I was thinking we’d try out these.” He pulled his phone out and thumbed through songs he’d built into a playlist. Everything felt so normal. So good.

Not like I was terrified of the future or what could possibly happen to the guys. All of it weighed heavily on me. I hated it.

And him. Anson.

I studied him as he talked, the smile on his face and the happiness in his voice. My heart hurt. It hurt so much, and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it.

So, instead of dwelling on what could never be, what I’d never allow, I smiled back and offered my suggestions on songs.

Before long, we were in the living room, where he and Fox played football against Cole and Enzo. Cole trash-talked the entire time, but at least he wasn’t holding a gun to Anson’s head.

I relaxed against Ethan, who held me close.

“This is nice,” he murmured. “I like this.”

“Me too,” I whispered, watching the four play, wishing something could change to make it always be this way.

“I should have fucking killed you last week,” Cole grumbled as Anson scored a touchdown and high-fived Fox. “Then you wouldn’t be doing that stupid fucking dance in the end zone.”

I sighed.

Some things would never change though. It was just something I’d have to learn to accept.

FORTY-FOUR

COLE

I’d made it through the night with Anson and three more since. Luckily, those were mostly in passing as we did our shit, and he stayed with her while we did it. Life was pretty much back to normal, so I supposed I couldn’t complain.

Much.

I’d managed to show Rosalie how sorry I was for my actions that same night after Anson had left. I wasn’t good with words, but I let my dick do the talking for me. It seemed to do the trick, so no complaints. My little buddy was good at what he did.

I watched from my spot on the loveseat next to Fox as E made out with Rosalie on the floor in front of the fireplace.

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