Page 115 of Into the Fire

He sighed and raked his fingers through his hair but didn’t say anything else, so I did.

“You haven’t told Enzo?”

He stared at the wall in front of us. “No. I need to. It’s just fucked. I guess maybe I haven’t come to terms with it yet. I’m barely talking to my father. I guess I feel betrayed. At some point, I’ll have to sit Enzo down and tell him everything. I don’t know what I’m even waiting for. Maybe I’m hoping it’s just a shitty dream I’ll wake from.”

“It sucks when the nightmares become reality,” I murmured.

He nodded wordlessly.

I cleared my throat after a few quiet moments. “Is it fucked that I enjoyed watching you with her tonight?”

“Probably not as fucked as me letting it happen. I probably shouldn’t have, but I just had to know.”

“What did you have to know?”

He shrugged again. “I don’t even know. See if you wanted to. If she would. . .”

“What?” I studied him, watching different emotions flit over his face.

“If she would ask me to let you join us,” he finally muttered.

I paused before asking my question. “What would you have said?”

He was quiet so long that I didn’t think he was going to answer me. When he finally did, his voice was soft.

“I’d have said yes.”

My heart jumped in my chest at his words.

“She loves you. I know she does. I need to face facts. If I’m good with you taking her away to save her, then I’m good with you fucking her too because deep down, I know it’ll be inevitable once she’s with you.” He looked over at me. “You’d be good for her.”

My heart was still banging hard. “You think I would?”

He nodded and looked back to the wall. “Without a doubt, or I wouldn’t be shipping this shit so hard. Silently, of course. Well,mostly. Other times, I just want to choke the life out of you. It’s a battle I’m still fighting.”

I chuckled at that.

“Would you? Have joined us?” He looked back at me.

Now, it was my turn to be silent.Would I?

“I think under different circumstances, I would have. I wanted to. Almost tried, but she’s drunk, and I want her to be completely lucid when she tells me she wants me. Had she been, then absolutely. As it is, I feel like some shitty human having watched, despite how absolutely fucking hot it was hearing her come.”

I watched the corners of his lips twitch.

“Bit of a dick move,” I continued. “Making me watch it since you already know how I feel.”

He shrugged. “Consider it not only a partial invitation but also a warning. I can give it just as easily as I can take it all away.”

“Isn’t that for her to decide?” I raised a brow at him.

“No, not while I’m in the picture. I decide.”

I snorted at him and shook my head. “What about the other three?”

“Anson, man.” He scrubbed his hand down his face. “If that time comes, the other three won’t matter. If I’m not there, she knows where she needs to go. To you. And you’ll take her and keep her away from all this shit. I believe that to the very depths of my soul.”

I stared down at my feet, realizing what he was saying to me. There wasn’t a chance in hell I’d be joining the four of them. Ever. I’d get her alone, but never with them, and if she were alone, it was because she was hurting. It was because she was broken.

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