Page 91 of Stitches

I hadn’t eaten all day.

I’d been surviving the past few days on weed.

“You good?” Ashes asked, eyeing me as I paced the living room.

I wasn’t stupid. I knew they were on stranglehold watch. With my shit out in the open and true, it didn’t take a genius to understand they were concerned for me and what I was capable of. Hell, I’d given them a good reason to watch me. I’d been swinging from a bar in my closet only weeks ago.

“No,” I said. “But I’m trying.”

Ashes nodded. “You’re doing great.”

“I’m a fucking mess, man. You know I am.”

“We all are.”

“Well, you didn’t have some fucked-up human with his cock—” I couldn’t finish my sentence. I just fucking couldn’t. Nausea twisted low in my guts at the flash of the feeling. The warmth. The groans.

I swallowed down the bile and breathed out.

Nothing about this shit was good.

Fuck, god help me.

“Breathe, Malachi,” Ashes called out.

I blinked at him, having disassociated for a moment.

Sucking in a deep breath, I nodded at him, not wanting him to know how fucking broken and weak I was inside. I was Malachi Wolfe. I was the strong one. The protector of my family. The one who cracked jokes but would commit murder if someone stared at me for too long.

I wasn’t this…thing. This basket case. OK, maybe I was a basket case, but I wasn’tthisbasket case.

The guys were terrified of me falling again.

I swore to myself I’d never fall again.

But fuck was it hard to not just stop fighting and let go. Say fuck it. Let the devil sort me out in hell.

“Talk to her,” Ashes said. He pulled his lighter out and opened and closed it in the set of five he loved so much before stopping and doing it all over again. With his other hand, he took a hit from his vape, sending the scent of cherries into the air.

The front door opened, and Church stepped inside. I paused my pacing to stare as Sirena, my angel, came in behind him, her hair a wild mess from the wind and probably Church’s fingers.

Just as perfect as ever.

And she’s here. Fuck, she’s here. I have to face this shit.

God, Mama, please. I can’t face it. I can’t do it. I’ve failed her in so many terrible ways. She deserves better. I wish I had those meds. Fuck. I need them. I can’t live like this.

“Malachi.” Ashes rested his hand on my shoulder. I hadn’t even realized I’d blanked out again and was breathing heavily and fast. My lips felt numb from hyperventilating.

“Breathe, brother. Relax. We got you. We always will,” he murmured, giving my shoulder a gentle squeeze before releasing me to go to Sirena. I watched as he approached cautiously, clearly unsure about whether she was willing to accept him with open arms after we’d left her without a word for those few days.

I held my breath when he reached for her.

She didn’t jerk away from him. Instead, she fell into his arms. He hugged her tightly, rocking her with him.

“Heaven,” he said on repeat. “Heaven, baby. I’m so glad you’re back. I’ve missed you so damn much.” He pulled away from her. She took that opportunity to take his hand in hers and trace something onto his palm that made him drag her back to him, his lips finding hers.

I looked away, an ugly flare of jealousy and want igniting deep in my chest.

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