Page 85 of Stitches

“Easy. Give her back to me,” Asylum said with a smile.

“Go fuck yourself. What else do you have?” Church sat back down. Once more, Ashes and I followed.

Asylum let out a laugh. “I knew you’d say that. It wasn’t in the literal sense you gave her back. You just allow me to be near her. Sin to be near her. I’m not going to abide by your rules really, but I will allow her to decide. In the end, the choice in who she wants should be hers, should it not?” He cocked his head again. “I think it’s only fair that we allow her to choose if she so wishes.”

“She won’t choose you,” Church said with vehemence.

“Then what are you so worried about with her being around me?” Asylum winked at him. “I should be a safe date if you think she won’t ever wander into my bed. Willingly.”

I looked to Church to see if I could gauge a reaction from him. He seemed to be contemplating Asylum’s words as he stared back at him.

“Fine. We’ll see. I’ll allow her the choice because I know what it’ll be. She’ll choose us.”

“And if she wants me as well? And Sinclair?”

A muscle thrummed along Church’s jaw, and he balled his hands into fists.

“I think if we love her like we say we do, then if she chooses, we accept whatever that choice is.” I hated to say the words because I didn’t want to share her with Asylum knowing he was a crackpot, but I couldn’t shake what I’d seen in the facility. In the beginning, knowing he was taking her from us, it had broken me. Now, after what I’d witnessed and been through with him, I saw him as something else. Annoying, sure, but there was more to him than he let on, and I truly believed he loved her in his own twisted, fucked-up way.

And if you love someone, you have to love them enough to accept their choices, even if those choices aren’t you.

“Sinclair isn’t ever going to be allowed back,” Church said, breathing out harshly. “He’s not part of this. He already agreed to simply protect her and keep his distance.”

“Is this what you want?” Asylum looked to Sin, a troubled expression on his face.

Sin looked from Asylum to Church, turmoil on twisting his features.

“I want to come home. I accept if I’m never wanted again though. I have sins to repent, so you have my word and my protection. Once this is over, I’ll leave. I won’t get close to Sirena unless it’s to protect her. I will not speak to her unless warranted. Touch her. Love her. I will separate myself completely and offer only my services to my…brothers.” He winced as he said the words.

Church studied him for a moment.

Fuck, this sucked.

“I think if Sin is able to repent, then we should consider letting him come home for good—” I started, finally fucking cracking. Maybe it was the look on his face. His tattered body with her name etched deep into his flesh, or maybe it was the sound of his voice as he tried to not let it crack beneath the pain he was in. Maybe it was because I knew the prick loved her too and I knew what it was like to love and feel unworthy of it.

“I accept his terms,” Church plowed on, ignoring me.

Ashes let out a soft sigh. I glanced at him to see him shoot me a quick, sad smile before he focused back on the conversation, his thumb slower when flipping his lighter open and closed.

It was better than nothing. At least Sin wasn’t the fucking leper anymore. Not really. Maybe he’d wear Church down. Maybe Sirena would love him. Who knew at this point in the game.

All I knew was that I wanted to see her desperately and maybe kiss her.

SIRENA

Cady had left last night and hadn’t returned back. I wasn’t surprised because she said she wasn’t going to, so I didn’t worry about her. Any tiny inkling of fear I had was gone when my phone buzzed with a text from her saying she was going to get breakfast with Adam.

Curling back up in the massive bed, I darkened the phone screen without bothering to send a reply message. I never replied, so today wouldn’t make things any different.

Cady had locked the door when she’d left, but I knew if Church or any of the watchers wanted in, a lock wasn’t going to stop them. In a way, I’d barely slept because I’d been waiting for one of them to come back for me. When the sun rose, defeat had poured through me because no one had showed up.

So now I lay beneath the covers, all curled into a tight ball as I considered what was happening. Church was angry. I didn’t know how to fix it and telling him everything was out of the question. I didn’t want to feel the way I felt, and I definitely didn’t want to bring it up. Knowing that some sick creeps behind a wall of glass had watched me be fucked by the same person who had tried to kill me years ago hurt my heart. It made me sick.

On the flip side of it all, I’d lost my mind and didn’t hate Asylum as much as I should have. Maybe years of wallowing in everything had made me tired and apathetic. Maybe even a little angry at him for not finishing the job. Life, or death, would have been easier than existing how I existed. Whenever I could talk, I clammed up. Sometimes I found the words, but mostly it was just knee jerk reactions that sent the words from my mouth.

I imagined being with someone like me was frustrating, so it’s no wonder Church needed space.

I could accept that. It hurt, but it was my reality. Men wouldn’t want to be with a woman who couldn’t even tell them what she wanted to eat when he asked. I was a lost cause, and I hated myself for it.

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