Page 117 of Stitches

“Sirena? Are you…are you happy? Sometimes I get the impression you aren’t.”

I exhaled. Sometimes I wasn’t, but it wasn’t because of my guys or anything like that. It was because of the situation we were in. It was because I worried, and I had others on my mind.

“I miss you,” he continued. “I miss how we’d hang out so much. You seem OK now, but there’s just something there that worries me. I know your time in the facility sucked. I just wish you could talk to me about it.”

I gave him a sad smile.

“I like how you try to communicate more,” he murmured, furrowing his brow and reaching out to trace along my sad smile. “This used to be a rarity, but even to see a sad smile makes me happy because it lets me know you’re in there. I was so worried about you after everything. I tried so hard to see you. Church and the guys made it impossible.” He let his hand fall away. “One night, I tried to sneak in to check on you. I got as far as your room and saw you lying in that bed, staring at the ceiling. It broke my heart. I-I thought I’d lost you forever. The wards found me and dragged me out and I was threatened by Sully that if I returned, I’d be punished.”

The sadness on his face broke my heart.

“I know I’m out of line, Sirena, but I have to tell you this. From the moment that I saw you, I knew you were special. I knew that you and I…that we’d mean something to one another. I was so happy when you were my girlfriend, even if it was pretend. I’m grateful even now that we’re friends, I just…” He paused and closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them, they shimmered with some emotion that made my heart skip. “I can’t stop thinking about you. If you’re happy, then I’m happy for you. As much as I want to let you go, I’m struggling with it because I keep wondering what would have happened if I were brave enough to just tell you how I felt. Or feel. Or the things I want.” He visibly swallowed. “I know they’ll get me killed because the watchers don’t play. If they knew I wanted their girl, I’d be dead.”

I stared into his eyes, my heart hurting.

“We know who each other are. We make sense. At least I think we do,” he said, a note of sadness in his voice. “You know me.”

I did know him. I took his hand in mine and ran my thumb upward gently, noting the scars on his wrist. Faint scars.

I leaned in and placed a soft kiss on his forehead before I got up and grabbed my coat. He said nothing for a long time. When I got to the door, he spoke.

“Don’t go,” he whispered. “Stay with me.Rina.”

I swallowed hard at the familiar name but pulled the door open just the same and left the room, my heart in my throat. Bryce had said words that I’d been feeling and ignoring. I just couldn’t. Not right now. My life was messy and dangerous enough as it was.

By the time I made it to the lobby, Asylum was standing there waiting for me.

“Hello, firefly,” he greeted me, pushing off the wall he’d been leaning against.

I said nothing, allowing him to fall in step beside me and walk with me out into the night. The snowflakes fell around us while we walked in silence, the snow crunching beneath our feet.

“It hurts, doesn’t it?” he finally said. “To love what is right and know that it’s wrong.”

I stopped and turned to him, the pain in my heart very much real.

“It could work out, you know.” He cocked his head at me. “All of it. Everything you’re thinking in that pretty little head of yours. It could be yours. For a price, of course. Everything has a price.”

My bottom lip wobbled. The price of such luxuries usually cost a soul.

He let out a soft laugh. “Bit dramatic, but I suppose you’re right.”

He was in my damn head again.

“Why do you think I ever left it, firefly?” He cocked his head at me again. “We never leave, and we never will. As soon as you accept your fate, we can get to the main event.”

It took everything I had inside me to say the next words and not think them for him tohear.

“What is the main event,Asylum?”

In the blink of an eye, he was on me, his lips pressed roughly against mine, kissing me hard. I struggled against him, trying to shove at him, but he wasn’t having it. He gripped my face tightly with one, black leather clad hand and squeezed until I complied and parted my lips for him.

“There you go,” he whispered, pulling away from me slightly as I gasped for air. “There’s my little demon. My sinner. You know what the main event is, firefly. We’re all in it.” He kissed me again.

“They’ll never let you join,” I choked out when he moved away.

“They don’t have to. It’s you who decides,” he answered back.

“H-How do you do it? How do you know everything?” I stared into his blue eyes, watching as they darkened, his head cocking to the left.

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