Page 49 of Ashes

I had nothing without her.

It was extreme, but ever since I’d met her, I couldn’t get her out of my damn head. I’d wanted her so much it had hurt, and when I’d had her. . .I was so fucking close to getting everything I’d ever wanted then she’d been torn from me.

I inhaled.

If I concentrated on it enough, I could almost smell her. Almost taste her sweet lips. Feel her warm mouth on my cock as she sucked me to completion.

I groaned and rubbed my eyes. They fucking hurt. So did my neck and the rest of my body. It was reasonable to assume it was from my suicide attempt.

In retrospect, I’d overreacted. I should’ve waited until everyone was sleeping then done it. Of course, the other side of that was the pain I knew I’d leave behind whenever they would’ve found my cold body.

I winced at that. Hearing Church calling for me broke my heart. Seeing the look on Ashes’s and Sin’s faces had made the reality of my poor decision set in.

I’d fucked up. Plain and simple.

A midnight death would’ve been better planned. Then I wouldn’t have these shitty thoughts in my head.

If I had a way right now, I’d finish the fucking job. I didn’t want to be in a world where I couldn’t have Sirena. I’d lived a life without her before meeting her. There was no way I was going back to that cold, harsh existence. Sure, I had Dante and the watchers, but I didn’t have her.

And I fucking wanted her more than I’d ever wanted anything in my life, including my mother to give a damn about me.

Sighing, I stared at the ugly ass walls, hating that I was on a ninety-six-hour mandatory psych hold. It felt like an eternity.

I wandered back and forth, pacing. For hours. Then I lay down. Stood up. All on repeat. Being stuck like this was driving me insane.

Grinding my teeth together, I stomped over to the door and peered through the slit of a window. My breath caught in my chest as I saw Sirena on a stretcher being wheeled down the hall. Sully strode along behind her in his fucking brown suit.

Furiously, I pounded on the door, shouting her name as they passed by. She was so fucking pale. Her eyes were closed. Her black hair was tangled around her. She looked sick.

My baby looked awful.

“Sirena! Angel!”

Fuck.

“Sirena!” My voice cracked, giving way to a rasp.

That was it. My voice was toast. I mouthed her name instead, my chest aching in desperation as they continued to wheel her down the corridor, the fluorescent lights flickering and buzzing overhead.

My room was soundproof. They couldn’t hear me.

I slammed my fist repeatedly against the door, her name a silent plea on my lips.

And then there he was. Tied in a straitjacket and in a wheelchair.

The son of a bitch who was taking everything I’d ever wanted from me.

Seth fucking Cain.

I glared at him as one of the wards pushed him down the hall. Seth’s eyes were black and blue again, and his lip was cut. He looked like hell.

His icy blue gaze locked on mine. There was so much pain in them it made me sick to my stomach.

What the fuck was going on? Had he touched her? Did he get caught? Did he finally fucking snap? Did Church lose it on him?

My mind raced as Seth continued to stare at me as he passed by, three more wards behind him.

I couldn’t take this shit. I couldn’t stand knowing she was out there and something bad could be happening to her while I was stuck in this fucking prison.

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