Page 27 of Ashes

“We t-trust each other to protect our sanity.”

I nodded and loosened my grip on his face. “Good. We’ll see Seth soon. Once we do, we can do what needs to be done.”

“What if he takes her?” Stitches asked, his eyes becoming glassy as his meds kicked in.

I clenched my jaw for a moment, knowing a win was a win. “He’ll never take her from us. Only she can decide that. You know that, right? Even if he gets the chance to have her, she’ll make the decision herself.”

They were ugly words, but they were true. In the end, the decision belonged to specter.

“Promise she’ll choose us?” He stared at me with worry in his eyes.

“We love her. She knows that. She knows where home is.”

He visibly swallowed and exhaled. I studied him for a moment, hoping beyond anything she’d come back to us. But even if she didn’t, I knew we’d work hard to convince her otherwise.

“I can’t lose her,” he whispered. “I’ll die if I lose her.”

“We will get her back,” I answered softly. “Somehow.”

We were all silent for a moment.

“Food’s done,” Ashes finally murmured.

I nodded and held my hand out to Stitches. He took it and I tugged him to his feet. He followed me into the dining room as Ashes went down the hall to get Sin.

We settled at the table, Ashes and Sin returning moments later.

Ashes had made fettuccine alfredo. The delicious smell made my stomach grumble. I dug in quickly, needing the food. Ashes devoured the pile on his plate at a pace that rivaled mine. Stitches ate at a slower, steady pace. It was Sin who stared at his food, his lips turned into a deep frown.

“Eat,” I said.

He didn’t look at me. He speared some noodles on his fork and stuffed the bite into his mouth, chewing quickly.

Shaking my head, I ate more. I knew he was pissed at me, but I was pissed at him too. The fact he was denying shit and fighting his feelings was enough to drive my insanity to its limits. I wasn’t even sure what the next step in insanity was. Maybe I’d finally fucking lose it and revel in the blood and tears of those who’d pushed me too far.

We ate in silence before clearing our plates. Ashes loaded the dishwasher, and Stitches went back to the couch where he stared at the wall, his head resting against the back of the couch.

Sin’s stare lingered on him for a moment before he stepped onto the back patio and leaned against the railing to peer out at the lake.

I pulled out a blunt and sparked it up, inhaling the first hit deeply and holding the burn in my lungs before blowing it out. I sat beside Stitches and offered him the weed. He hesitated for a moment before taking a hit and blowing out the smoke. He did it twice more before handing it back to me. He scrubbed his hand down his face and closed his eyes.

I took a few more fortifying hits before clapping his stoned ass on the thigh and going to my room, but not before noticing Ashes flicking his lighter as he watched Sin on the patio.

We were a fucking mess.

Once upstairs, I pushed my sweatpants off and got into the shower, letting my high blanket me as I washed away the day’s bullshit.

All I wanted to do was see my specter. Hold her. Kiss her. Fuck her. Tell her I love her.

I vowed to remedy that soon enough. I’d lost track of how many nights I’d watched her sleep. If I went to her while she slept, would she feel me bury myself inside her heat? Would she explode onto my cock and cling to me like she did the last time I was deep inside her? Would she scream? Could I bring her back to me?

I hated I was this fucked-up monster, but the heart wanted what it wanted. And that was specter back in my arms.

* * *

A bit later,I smoked another blunt as I sat in my leather chair in the living room. Stitches was glued to his spot on the couch, not saying a word. His silence worried me. Ashes was our quiet one. Stitches was always going a mile a minute. To see him sitting and staring wordlessly at the wall had me on edge.

“He’s here. Asylum,” Ashes said, coming into the room. “I see him on the path.”

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