Page 143 of Ashes

I was leery for sure, but something had come alive inside me the past few weeks. I wanted him. Them? I didn’t even know how to navigate that. I knew I cared for Seth. I’d missed him. Asylum was new to me, and he’d done such bad things to me. He had a lot to prove if he wanted me to open my arms for him. I didn’t even know if I’d ever be able to. Trying to kill me was a big freaking deal.

I also wanted the watchers, as upset with them as I was.

I felt betrayed by them. And Sin. . . He’d put all of this into motion. He was the reason why I was locked in my mind. It was his fault Asylum had fucked me in front of those men and Stitches had wept.

I blamed him.

I blamed them all.

I didn’t want to though. I just hurt. At least Seth and Asylum never made me wonder about the level of their depravity. I knew what they were. It was all beginning to fall into place. The drawn curtains all the time in his home when we were kids. All the times he said I couldn’t come into his home and play, so we’d played at my house or outside instead or when his house was empty of his mom.

An old memory filled my mind.

Seth was late. He was supposed to meet me at the park to swing.

I looked to the blue sky and came to a decision. I was going to go to his house and see where he was. Quickly, I walked back to our street and to his house.

I went onto his front porch and knocked on his door. When no one answered, I knocked again, worry seeping through me.

Where are you?

Seth was never late to see me.

I reached out and tried the door. It swung open easily. I knew the rules. I wasn’t allowed inside his home without him, but I was scared something was wrong, so I stepped inside and climbed the stairs to his room.

The house was silent.

No one was in his room, and it was tidy just like it always was.

When I stepped back out, the stairway at the end of the hall caught my eye. Seth said we weren’t allowed there. To play in the attic. That it was dangerous. That the door at the top of the stairs was to remain locked at all times.

Something pulled me in that direction.

I went to it and took the first step upward.

“What are you doing?” A warm hand wrapped around my wrist and pulled me back down.

I stared up into the pretty face of Seth’s mom, Jackie.

“I-I’m looking for Seth,” I said. “I thought he might be up there.”

“No, honey. He’s not,” she answered tightly, giving the attic door a fearful look. “Seth is. . .busy right now. He’ll come see you tomorrow, OK? Why don't you go home and tell your mom we really loved that pie she sent over yesterday and that I’d like the recipe if she’s willing to share it.”

She led me back downstairs and straight to the front door.

“OK,” I said, frowning. “Can you tell Seth to call me?”

“I will. Please don’t come in here without someone, OK? It’s important. Promise?”

I nodded. “Promise.”

She offered me a smile before she closed and locked the door, leaving me to stare at it. After a moment, I stepped off the step and walked across the lawn to my house next door. Something made me look behind me though. To the small attic window. It was always boarded up, but today, two slats were missing.

And there he was.

Seth.

Staring back at me from it.

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