Page 99 of The Playbook

He offered me a smile as I got to my feet and left the room. I made it back upstairs and flopped back in bed, picking up my copy of the playbook. I wasn’t ready to read it, so I dropped it back onto the mattress and closed my eyes. Tomorrow, I’d have to face the music. I knew that. I just didn’t know how I was going to.

* * *

Somehow, I managed to get through the next morning at school. I’d taken different routes than normal and kept my books in my bag so I wouldn’t have to go to my locker for anything. I’d brought lunch from home, so I could avoid the cafeteria.

“He’s a dick,” Lana said, popping a piece of blueberry muffin into her mouth. “Plain and simple.”

“He messed up and knows he did,” Ryan said with a frown.

We were eating lunch in the empty band room. Mr. Brown always left it unlocked and gave us free run of the place as long as we cleaned up after ourselves.

“He knew he was messing up as he was doing it. No excuses. He could’ve come clean right from the beginning,” Lana argued.

“I know, Lan. I told him that. He’s just too competitive for his own damn good.” Ryan looked at me as Noah handed me one of his cupcakes. “Grace, Logan really does love you. He fucked up, yeah, but if you’d just talk to him, maybe you guys could sort things out.”

“I know,” I said with a sigh.

Truth of the matter was, I felt like if we did clear the air I’d feel better. Like, I could get the answers I needed to move forward. At this rate, I didn’t think I’d ever smile again. I’d been crying for two days straight. I’d even cut out of my second hour class to have a cry in the girls’ bathroom.

“Do you think you guys will get back together?” Noah asked.

I swallowed and shook my head, my throat too tight to speak. I had no idea what the hell I was doing. I’d never been broken down so far before, and that alone should’ve been enough to make me see reason, but at the end of the day, I did love Logan. Orloved. It was a conflicting emotion.

What he did was wrong. Getting past it wasn’t something I could even entertain doing right then though. And that’s when the truth would come into play. If I wanted the truth, I had to havethattalk with him which I was dreading.But did I need his version of the truth?I knew what had gone down. Discussing it further would only open the floodgates.

My friends sensing I was done, changed the subject to Garrett asking Leslie Meyers, a clarinet player, out for homecoming. The buzz from my phone yanked me from my morose thoughts. I looked down to see a message from Logan. Against my better judgement, I opened it.

Logan: Can we talk?

I bit my bottom lip as I stared at the message. Sighing, I answered.

Me: I need time.

Logan: Please, Gracie? I have so much to tell you. I miss you.

Me: Not now, Logan. I don’t want to talk. I got the basic gist of things. I need time to think. I don’t even know if I care to hear what you have to say at this point. It’s pretty self-explanatory, right? You made a bet to fuck me, cancelled the bet, but fucked me anyway. All while working things out with Nikki. So… everything is fine. I’m fine. We can just let it go, OK.

Logan: That’s not at all what it was like. Talk to me. Please. I will tell you everything.

Me: I guess I don’t care.

Those words hurt me because Ididcare. I cared so much it was suffocating me.

Logan: So that’s it? We’re over? You’re breaking up with me?

Tears prickled my eyes as I stared down at the message. We were a disaster waiting to happen anyway. We’d leave in a few months for college. Logan probably wouldn’t even go Rayton, so I’d never have to see him again after graduation.

With shaky hands I typed out my answer.

Me: Yes.

CHAPTER46

Logan

Yes.

One word. Three fucking letters were all it took to shatter my heart.

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