Page 104 of The Playbook

At that point, I guessed he’d definitely still been focused on winning the bet. I sighed and moved on.

I feel like shit. I hate this. I’ve never felt this way before.

Another entry.

Yes! I’m going to Lana’s. Grace invited me to come even after I fucked up.

The paper crinkled as I revealed the next page.

Her kisses make me feel like I can fly. Corny, I know, but I kissed her tonight. I touched her. She said she’d date me when we played Truth or Dare. I was dumbfounded. I still am. We played Seven Minutes in Heaven in Lana’s bathroom. She’s so perfect.

She’s my girl. She said yes! I feel like I’ve won the world.

Another page. I skimmed it, absorbing all his feelings and seeing myself through his eyes. My eyes misted over as I stared down at the next entry.

Andy and I ended the bet. A truce. I’m so relieved. I wanted it to be over because I love her. I love her so fucking much. She is everything.

Swallowing I went through the rest of the book and stopped at the entry from the day we had sex for the first time, my breath catching in my chest.

I was so worried about hurting her. I’d wait forever for her. I hope she didn’t feel pressured into it. I don’t want her to feel like she has to have sex with me for me to love her.

My vision blurred as I turned the page.

Nikki needs to stop. I wish she’d just let me be happy. I don’t want to lose Grace, but if Nikki keeps it up, I know I will. I don’t love Nikki. Hell, I don’t even like her. It’s Grace. She’s my now and my future. At least I hope she is. God, I pray every night that she keeps loving me. I see a real future for us past high school. Even college. Maybe I’m crazy, but I think she might be the girl I’ll love forever.

I wiped my eyes as I perused more pages and came to his sloppy scrawl after Nikki released her video.

I lost her. She’s gone. I knew I should’ve come clean, but I was so scared of losing her. Guess that doesn’t matter now. I got what was coming to me. I didn’t have sex with Nikki. She kissed me, and I pushed her away and ran. I wanted to tell Grace the truth. I tried to get her out of there so I could explain everything to her. I fucked it all up. My fear kept me from happiness. I wish I would’ve never made that bet, but at the same time, if I hadn’t I wouldn’t have had Gracie at all. No matter how short the amount of time, I can’t regret it. I love her. I love her so fucking much I feel like my soul is cracking. How do I get her back? How do I make this right? God, what if she never wants me again?

I turned to the final page to see a handwritten letter to me.

Gracie,

If you’re reading this, I’m sorry. I want to make this right. My feelings for you are real. I’ve never felt like this about anyone or anything in my entire life. I was a dick in the beginning. I had a whole other agenda, but I’m so glad I got to know you and have you, even if I didn’t get to keep you. I pray you give me another chance and let me come back to you. I want to be with you, Gracie. Not just as your boyfriend. I want to share all the things in life that are coming. I want to be more than your boyfriend. I want to be the guy you can trust and can come to when you need something. I want to be the one who makes you laugh and gets to hold you and whisper in your ear how much I love you. But most of all, I just want you. Just as you are because that’s perfect.

I’m not good at writing how I feel. Or saying how I feel. So instead of that, I want to show you. Let me prove it to you. Friday night. Homecoming. Me and you and all the stars in the sky.

Meet me at the fifty-yard line at halftime.

All my love,

Logan

I closed the book and blew out a breath, falling back against my pillow. Tomorrow night at the homecoming game he wanted me to meet him at the fifty-yard line.And then what?

I’d be playing with the band.

Deciding I could just stay behind after our halftime show to see what he wanted, I closed my eyes.

Would I take him back? What would I say? What would he say?I missed him like crazy. It didn’t matter how short our time together was, he’d made a huge impact on me, and I felt that impact straight into the depths of my heart. I knew he was more than just some passing relationship the moment he kissed me.

But damn, he’d hurt me. Badly.

I breathed out, my throat tight.

I had no idea what I’d do.

Just let your heart decide.

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