Page 73 of Samson

“Yeah. The guy I broke up with, he’s the one who stabbed me in the back. I thought he cared about me. I had no idea I was only a means to an end for him.”

“No wonder you didn’t want to trust me. I guess I didn’t help your issues. I haven’t behaved in a way to always encourage trust.”

“You have your reasons. I assume it’s connected to the pain I saw the other night.”

“I told you that was a past case.”

“What I saw that night was pain of a different kind. Say what you want, but I saw something much deeper.”

He wanted her to understand but didn’t know if he was brave enough to open up that part of himself.

“Have you ever asked yourself why I live my life the way I do?”

“I wouldn’t say I’ve spent a lot of time pondering it, but I think I can guess.”

He pushed the crumbs around his plate with his fork. “All right. Tell me.”

“The same reason most people do. Because you can.”

“You don’t think I could have other reasons?”

“Such as?”

“It’s easy to hide emptiness behind excess.”

“You mean you’ve had such a hard life you need to overindulge to compensate? I understand people deal with pain in different ways, but it doesn’t excuse sleeping around and drinking too much.”

“No. I make no excuse for that. I know my behavior isn’t what it should be. But there are reasons.”

She studied her fingers for a minute. “Samson, what is it that you want from me?”

“Honestly, I have no idea.”

She nodded. “I think I should go.”

“Why?”

“Because I’ve come to the East Coast with a lot of baggage I’m trying to sort out. I’ve made a lot of mistakes, and I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t know what it is you see in me, but if you think I’m the answer to all your problems?—”

“That’s not what I think. All I know is that you’re not like anyone else I’ve ever met. I want to get to know you better. You make me believe there’s more to life, and that’s a good thing.”

“I don’t want to be anyone’s crutch. I can’t be. You’ll end up getting more hurt in the end than when you started.”

“That’s not what I want either. But—” He scrubbed a hand across his forehead. “It’s really hard to explain.”

“Try.”

“You wouldn’t understand.”

“If you can’t tell me, then what’s the point of any of this?”

“It will probably change the way you see me.”

“For better or worse?”

“I have no idea.”

“Then I guess you have to decide if the risk is worth it.”

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