“God. He understands the world so much differently than I do. I don’t want to mess up and disappoint Him, so I focus on the rules. The world is easier to understand that way. People are harder.”
“He is God.”
“I know. That’s what I mean. I can see it now, how He’s so close to each one of us, but without the rules spelled out, how do I know how to do the right thing?”
“God wrote His laws on our hearts because that was the best way. You want to write it down in a book.”
“What’s wrong with that? At least then I know. I can’t rely on myself to listen to the rules written on my heart. There’s too much that can interfere, like it already has for so many years.”
“But that’s not what you’ve always been afraid of. Looking at the rules the way you have is what has protected you from needing to allow God to get close. You’ve broken through that fear now, and He wants to lead you. He wants to be the one to show you right and wrong and to reveal the motives of your heart. He also wants to show you how you can help those trapped in sin. You can’t find that in a book.”
“No.”
“And now that you can work on drawing near to the Father, you can let Him speak to you and show you right and wrong from His perspective.”
“That’s easier said than done.”
“It takes practice, following His lead.”
“How do I do that?”
“Read your Bible.”
“I do.”
“Good. Then open your ears to hear Him speak into your heart. Let Him lead you every day. And when you feel like He’s far away, don’t listen to that lie anymore. Take a moment and draw close to Him again.”
“You really think that will work?”
“Maybe not overnight, but God will get you there. It’s a journey.”
“Thank you, Jemi. I didn’t know how much I needed this.”
Chapter21
Isla pressedher cold fingers against her eyes as she padded down the stairs and into the kitchen.
She’d woken with a pounding head, but her mind was at ease. A tightness inside had been released. She may have a journey ahead of her, but whatever had happened with Jemi last night, it had made an impact. Hope swelled in her chest like it hadn’t in a long time.
“You’re looking much better.”
She hadn’t seen Jay sitting at the table. “Oh. Jay. Good morning. I didn’t see you there.” She pressed the back of her hand against her cheek. “I don’t feel like I look much better.”
“There’s coffee ready if you want some.”
“Thanks.”
“You’re not feeling well?”
“I’m okay.” She was unsure of herself after last night. It had been good for her, but now she felt exposed and vulnerable, and being near Jay was confusing.
She poured herself a mug of coffee and sat across from him. “I don’t think I said thank you yesterday.”
“There’s no need.”
“Yes, there is. That’s the second time you’ve saved me.”
“Is it? That’s awful nice of me. I must be an all right kind of guy.”