Page 94 of Hidden Ascent

“What truth?”

“That you’re terrified to let God get close because you’re afraid He’ll abandon you like your father did.”

Isla’s throat tightened. “I told you I’ve forgiven him.”

“You’ve forgiven him for being angry and distant. Have you forgiven him for abandoning you?”

“Probably. I don’t remember.”

“I think you should try again.”

“It won’t make any difference.”

“Then prove me wrong.”

“Will you let me go back to sleep if I do?”

“Yes.”

“Fine. God, if I have anything left to forgive my dad for, then I forgive him.”

“Tell Him you forgive your dad for abandoning you.”

“This is ridiculous.”

“You’re resisting again.”

“I’m not. I just feel stupid.”

“It will be over soon.”

“I forgive my dad for…I forgive…” She pressed her lips together, breathing hard through her nose. The word “abandon” refused to leave her throat.

The bed shifted as Jemi moved closer. She put a hand on Isla’s leg and prayed under her breath.

“Don’t do that.” Isla choked out as she squeezed her eyes closed against the tears. But Jemi didn’t move. “I—” Isla tipped her head back as though her tears would slip back into her head. “I can’t do it.”

“Yes, you can,” Jemi said, tightening her grip on Isla’s leg. “Release her, Jesus. Don’t let her fear of abandonment keep her chained any longer. Break its power over her.” She continued her indiscernible prayers, whispering as Isla fought for control.

“God, help me.” She focused on Jemi’s quiet words and let them give her strength. “I forgive him—”

Sobbing choked off her words, and Jemi’s arms wrapped around her. “Father God, set her free.”

Isla had never let herself be consumed by her grief. After her dad left, she’d allowed herself to succumb to the anger, but nothing else. Tonight, she let it wash over her while Jemi held her.

* * *

It could have been hours or minutes when Isla’s tears ran out. Her face was puffy and hot, but her heart was light.

“God,” she sniffed. “I forgive my dad for abandoning me. I forgive him for not knowing how to be a father and for running away from his family. I don’t want to believe anymore that you’ll do the same. Forgive me for thinking you would. Please show me the truth. I need to know the truth.”

She pictured herself as a bird soaring high above a city. Below her, she could see people going about their lives, but she knew the ones who were hurting. She could see people making choices in their lives influenced by the pain they felt, and she could see that God was close to them, waiting for them to call on Him the way Jay finally had in the ocean that night.

She thought of Carl Blanchet, who she only saw as a criminal but who was doing the best he could. He didn’t have God in his life so had no reason to do things differently. But he was supporting his daughter the only way he knew how. That mattered to God more than the man-made laws he broke. Sure, consequences followed actions, but God judged people according to His righteous judgment and His perfect love. And more than anything, He wanted them to call on Him so He could rescue them. That was not something she’d ever considered before. Or had ever done.

“I don’t know how He does it,” Isla said.

“How who does what?”

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