Page 93 of Hidden Ascent

“Why?”

“Because it’s the middle of the night. Indulge me.”

“Fine. They’re closed.”

“Now, picture God.”

“Done.”

“Go up to Him and climb in his lap. Give him a big hug.”

Isla opened her eyes. “I’m a grown woman.”

“Why do you resist?”

“Because I’m not five.”

“What if I do it first?”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah. My eyes are closed. I see God. He has his arms open wide.” Jemi laughed. “He gave me a big hug and is holding me close to him. It should hurt because my body is failing me, but it doesn’t. Nothing about him hurts. He’s telling me how much he loves me and wants me to be well.”

Isla could hear the tears choking her words. “It doesn’t hurt your body, but does it hurt your heart?”

“What?”

“To hear Him say He wants you to be well, but you’re not.”

“But He does want me to be well. I can’t understand God’s timing or His reasons, but I know that, no matter what happens, I am in God’s hands. Right now and always.”

“Is that how Peter feels?”

“It’s harder for him.”

“His mind is clearer than yours.”

Jemi chuckled. “You think so?”

“I do.”

“Your mind can’t be clear when it’s fogged with fear.”

“Is Peter afraid?”

“He’s afraid to lose me. Yes.”

“You’re not afraid to die?”

“I don’t want to go yet. I don’t feel like I’m ready. But I trust God to do what is right. Peter only wants one outcome, whether it’s God’s or not. That makes it harder. Either way. It’s the same with you. Fear makes it hard to see things from God’s perspective.”

“I’m not afraid, and neither is Peter. I’ve never seen Peter afraid.”

“Fear is always searching for the weak spot. And once it finds it, it can be relentless unless you stand up to it.”

“I’m not sure what you’re trying to say.”

“You want to run away because it appears the easier route. But if you want real freedom, you need to face the truth.”

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