Page 91 of Hidden Ascent

“You care about her.”

Jay leaned his head onto the back of the couch and looked up at the ceiling, following the swirl of the plaster with his eyes. “That wasn’t supposed to happen. I don’t really know how it did. She drives me nuts a lot of the time.”

“The best ones usually do. But is it such a bad thing?”

“I don’t know. You know her better than I do.”

“You’re worried she’ll only ever see you as a criminal?”

“I know she will.”

“It takes her time to change her mind, which isn’t always a bad thing. She sticks to what she knows is right until she’s convinced otherwise. It can be an asset. But it means you have to be patient and persistent.”

“But what if she never changes her mind?”

“She may not. None of us is perfect. Sometimes, we get it wrong and we miss out.”

“I thought you were trying to make me feel better.”

“How would that be helpful? What I’m trying to do is speak the truth to you. Neither one of us can make Isla do or feel anything she doesn’t want to. You’ve got to trust that God will do what’s best for the both of you. And what’s best for us is not always what we think we want.”

“So, you’re saying I need to get over her?”

“I’m not saying anything. I won’t be culpable for you two either getting together or not. That is way too much responsibility. I love my wife, and I have no doubt that God brought us together. I know how amazing it is when you get to spend your life with the right person. But it’s hard enough when God’s been involved. I’ve seen too many people get married for the wrong reasons. It doesn’t mean they can’t eventually be happy, but it’s a much longer and harder road.”

“How do you know if it’s right?”

“Man, you do have it bad.”

“I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m even asking you all this. It’s not the best time to be talking about relationships.”

“It’s never the right time. If you want to know what God thinks, then you’re going to have to ask Him.”

“And He’ll tell me?”

“If you’re listening, yeah.”

“What’s that mean?”

“It means, if you ask God, but you only want to hear one response, you may not hear him. If you want to hear him properly, then you need to be willing to give up whatever He requires, including Isla, if that’s what He needs you to do.”

“What if I don’t want to?”

“Then you have to live with the consequences. God can work with mistakes, but that doesn’t mean you won’t face the outcome of your actions.”

Jay nodded. He knew he’d be willing to give her up if it was what God wanted, even if he hated to think about it. But that was probably because he’d never had her in the first place.

What he wanted more than anything else was to make sure she got out of this alive. If he was a part of her life after that…but he couldn’t think about that. Now was enough. And right now, he was only desperate to keep her safe, even if that meant giving her up.

* * *

Isla stared into the blackness, alert. A sound had woken her. Now, she lay still, breathing slow, even breaths while she listened. It had sounded like whispering.

A weight shifted on the end of the bed, and her muscles tensed. If she had been a child, she would have thrown the blanket over her head and hollered for help. But even then, all she’d get for her effort was her dad yelling down the hall for her to go back to sleep. Then, after he left, she’d get no response at all because her mom took sleeping pills.

But the figure at the end of her bed wasn’t imaginary. And she wasn’t a scared little girl anymore. She also wasn’t helpless.

Slowly, she drew her arms up across her chest, to keep them from getting wrapped up in the blanket if she needed to defend herself.

---