Page 90 of Hidden Ascent

“A lot has happened for you in a small space of time.”

“I had no idea what I was in for when I agreed to get into your car at the beach.”

“Do you regret it?”

“I should. I’m crazy not to.”

“This can’t be the most dangerous thing you’ve ever done.”

“It’s not.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“I don’t really know. This job is different. It’s a lot more consuming. I tend to be quite disengaged from my work. Maybe because I usually get paid.”

“You can send me an invoice once this is all over if you want.”

Jay laughed. “You don’t mean that.”

“I do if it’s a paycheck you’re looking for.”

“It’s not. I don’t choose my jobs based on how much money I’m going to make. I don’t think I told you, but I’ve done work for different agencies like the FBI. They don’t pay as well as the others.”

“You did mention it. And I’m not surprised. You have a specific set of skills that would be valuable to many different organizations. And not just the crime ones.”

“But I’ve never worked for someone like you.”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know if I can explain it. When I came out of the ocean, I didn’t comprehend how much everything had changed for me. I’m not the same man who went into that water. And when I came back out, the last thing I expected to find was someone to show me the way. But it’s not just that. I feel like I’ve known you forever.”

“Thanks for saying that. Sometimes, when you’re following God’s leading, you don’t always get to understand the full impact you have on people. But that’s not really down to me. God did something profound for you in a short space of time. It doesn’t always happen that way.”

“But He was waiting for me, wasn’t He? He had to wait for me to be ready.”

“Yeah. A long time.”

“If only I’d gotten there sooner.”

“I don’t think that matters so much to God. He just kept at you your whole life until it was time. That’s not to say you didn’t have other opportunities to reach out to him, but it looks like you were stubborn enough that He had to take you to the very bottom in order to lift you back out.”

“That’s crazy to think that God’s been chasing me this whole time. I don’t understand how Isla can’t see that stuff. She thinks God is so far away. You’d think after being a Christian for so long, she’d get the hang of it.”

“I’ve been a Christian longer than her, and I’m still learning things all the time. But one thing I have figured out is that the longer you’re in it, the more boxed in you can become. Or the more boxed in God can become.”

“You ever try telling her that?”

Peter laughed. “Youever try telling her that? Look, it’s not up to us to fix her for God. He’s on her case as much as He’s on yours. And don’t forget, she’s got her weaknesses, but she also has her strengths, same as the rest of us.”

“But I want—never mind.”

“What?”

“It’s stupid.”

“I doubt it.”

“I want her to have that joy that I’ve found knowing God is close to me.”

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