Page 30 of Caged By the Lich

Because when did this lust start to form into something more?

14

OLVAAR

Iheld myself together all day. Through all the sessions where I was so close all I could smell was Astrid. Through every touch, every glance, every second that this pounding fucking need begged me to take her.

I've never been so desperate for a woman. It's why I refuse to give in. I have to keep control, and I know she's making me lose it, bit by bit.

Now that I'm alone, I pace my chambers, each step fueled by a rage I can't quite place. It's the one emotion that keeps cropping up. Anger at her for distracting me, anger at myself for wanting her, anger that I haven't taken her and that I want to. My fists clench and unclench at my sides, itching to destroy something, anything.

"Fuck," I growl, whirling to face my reflection in the ornate mirror. The demon staring back at me looks wild, dangerous. Good. That's who I am. That's who I need to be.

But then I see it - a flicker of doubt in those eyes. A softness that has no place there.

"No!" I roar, my fist connecting with the glass. It shatters, shards raining down around me. The pain is welcome, grounding. It reminds me of who I am. What I am.

A demon lord. A fearsome demon lord that could bring down this whole mansion with my magic, that could kill another man with one hand, that makes others tremble by my mere presence.

I don't feel... this.

But as I look at my bloodied knuckles, all I can think of is how Astrid's face would crumple with concern if she saw them. How she'd probably try to bandage them herself, muttering about my stubbornness the whole time.

"Dammit!" I slam my fist into the wall, relishing the crack of bone. This weakness, this... softness. It has to go. I can't afford it. Not now, not ever.

Why do I care if she misses home? Why does it bother me when she pulls away? Why do I want her to want me fucking back? She's nothing but a pawn, a means to an end. She shouldn't matter.

But she does.

I can't reconcile the rage of feelings inside of me. It's going to push me over the edge into the very madness that my bloodline is rumored to possess. But it won't be my magic that is my undoing.

It will be Astrid.

A knock at the door interrupts my spiral. "V?" Kaz's voice filters through. "Is everything alright?"

I growl, not wanting to deal with anyone right now. But Kaz is persistent, and soon he's standing in my chambers, taking in the destruction with a raised eyebrow.

"Redecorating?" he asks dryly.

I bare my teeth at him. "What do you want?"

Kaz's eyes narrow, assessing. "It's about Astrid, isn't it?"

I snarl at the sound of her name on his lips, and he only raises a brow. I consider how much I really need my second in command, my closest friend. Because right now, his dead body sounds a bit better than the alive version that won't fuck off.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I snap, turning away so I don't do something rash.

Like kill him.

"Of course not," Kaz says, his tone making it clear he doesn't believe me for a second. "That's why you're destroying your chambers over nothing."

I whirl on him, my magic flaring dangerously. "Watch yourself, Kaz. Even you aren't immune to my wrath."

But Kaz, damn him, just looks at me with something like pity. I snarl. He shrugs. "Denying it won't make it go away. You care for her."

"I don't," I snarl, but the words taste like ash in my mouth.

Kaz gives me a look that says he doesn't believe me and slips out of the room, leaving me to fester in this alone.

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