Page 45 of The Marriage Contract

“He’s a complicated man. He has a special place in his heart for me. That doesn’t necessarily extend to anyone else.”

“So, why are you telling me this?”

“Because …” She reaches across the table and takes my hand. “I want you to know that you’re not alone. I’ve been where you are.”

“You watched Salvatore kick a man to death in front of you?”

It’s like her hand loses all warmth in a flash. “No, I’ve been shielded from that side of this life. Yet I know what it’s like to try to exist as two people simultaneously.”

“It’s not the same, though,” I tell Maria. “This is a scam.”

She flinches, and I almost stop, but she told me the truth. I decide to do the same. “Dario hired me and paid me because Salvatore wants him to get married so badly. Salvatore has been hounding him about it, but it’s the last thing he wants. Marriage was never something he was interested in. The plan was to get divorced after the wedding. None of this was supposed to be real.”

She doesn’t let my hand go as the silence stretches between us. “Supposed to be, you said. Has something changed? Because let me tell you, mysonhas changed. You’ve changed him. Perhaps this is all supposed to be a play, but he’s never been very good at lying to me. He has real feelings for you.”

“You don’t know that,” I murmur, though there’s this warm feeling in me praying it’s true, even if I shouldn’t be.

“I canseeit, and I dare say, I can see it in you, too. I know you’re troubled by everything that happened. I know you’re scared, but you can’t honestly sit there and tell me nothing is real between you and my son.”

“Let’s say there is,” I snap. “Let’s say that flirting with and sassing him makes me feel more alive than the idea of dating anybody else ever could. Let’s say I think he’s the most handsome, most interesting, most intense man I’ve ever met. Let’s say Ihavebeen thinking about being with himfor real. Even then, it can’t end well.”

“Why not?” Maria asks.

“Is that a serious question?”

“I wouldn’t have asked it otherwise.”

“Fine. Okay. For one, Salvatore. Then there’s the whole thing about quitting my one passion in life. Then there’s the violence and the fact I’ll never be safe. Oh, and let’s not forget that Aunt Rosa is completely against me even interacting withanyof you. Or shall we go with the final option? That every time I close my eyes, I see a version of your son that makes me so scared, I can’t even breathe?”

“You’re scared of Dario?” she says.

“No,” I snap reflexively, driven by a deep instinct I don’t understand.

“What, then?” she asks.

“It’sthis world,” I groan. “I just don’t belong here.”

“Do you feel you belong with my son?” she asks.

“What does that even mean?”

She leans forward, looking at me woman-to-woman. “Don’t act naïve. You know exactly what I mean. When I met Salvatore, I knew. Even before we fell in love, there was this certainty.”

I swallow. I could lie, but after we’ve shared so much truth, that feels wrong. “There’s something real. I never expected it. But with everything stacked against us, I don’t see what good it can do.”

“Perhaps we don’t have to decide everything today,” she murmurs. “That we’re talking is a victory in itself. Why don’t you take a shower and leave this depressing room? We can spend the day together.”

“And do what?”

“Forget,” she says, reminding me of three days ago when I threw myself at son like a wild woman. “Just for a little while. How does that sound?”

I feel closer to Maria than I did before—than I thought possible. Nodding, I say, “Okay, but don’t give me hope. The clock’s ticking.”

“Maybe it is. Or maybe love will find a way.”

“Love,” I repeat.

“The word doesn’t fit?”

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