Page 42 of Fool's Bargain

Nodding, I dipped my head to her core and delved in once more.

“Fuck her now,” she commanded one of the guys. Was the desperate need to be filled hers or mine? Both, probably, my core twinging when Dorian clambered behind me. He didn’t wait, didn’t even pause to test that I was ready, but he didn’t need to. I groaned in pleasure as he sank deep in a slow, deliberate thrust.

When the meld with Ione took hold, she cried out, and I knew exactly what she was feeling, because I felt it too. Not just the excruciating, perfect stretch of Dorian’s cock inside me, but the feedback of my own enjoyment at tasting her sweetness and feeling her orgasm rise to its peak alongside mine.

We both climaxed at the same time, her cascade of spasms flowing straight into me and mine back into her until I collapsed in a boneless heap, half sprawled on top of her.

“I’ve never been so completely satisfied in my life,” Ione said.

I almost voiced my agreement but let it remain a wordless acknowledgment. As mind-blowing as my breakfast had been, I was pretty certain the best meal of my life was yet to come. I didn’t care if it drove me mad; on Christmas Day, I’d blood meld them all. I’d never looked forward to Christmas so much in my entire life.

20

Zarya

If I’d ever wondered how deep my appetite for amazing sex could be, I definitely gave myself the test of a lifetime. Being with the four nymphaea was like being served a never-ending supply of my favorite dessert, yet never feeling too full to eat more. Every time we shared each other, it only made my craving for them deeper.

It got easier to acclimate to the meld each time until I did it with ease, opening myself up and feeling my thoughts and memories shift past each of theirs, no secrets left unshared. I also got better at drifting, teleporting the whole pile of us into the pool or outdoor hot tub a few times over the course of the past few days just for a change of scenery from my living room floor.

But that was pretty muchallwe did, aside from pausing to sleep or eat. It was so fucking good, once we’d completed what was considered the binding meld, a familiar restlessness set in that scared me.

I’d already confessed my need to take things slowly where a blood meld was concerned. I still wanted that deep a bond more than I could convey in words. But I had hoped that what we’d already shared—at the very least what Theo and I had shared—would obliterate my need to retreat to the solitude of my shop with my sketchpad and my ideas.

I tamped down the vague panic that Ishouldbe more cautious because this urge to dive into my work was what had destroyed my relationship with Bodhi to begin with. I knew he and I hadn’t been right for each other, but that didn’t excuse the fact that I’d hurt him through my disregard for what we’d had.

I lay in Theo’s arms with Kyril bracketing my other side, sweeping soft caresses up and down my stomach. Dorian and Ione had disappeared to find supper, their distance leaving me oddly bereft, even though it gave me a chance to focus more on the two men who remained with me. At least that’s what I’d intended to do, but my entire attention was focused on not getting up and running off with some excuse that I had work to do. Was it the season? Was this weird agitation simply an instinctive method of self-preservation tied to the holidays? I’d never considered it before, but I hadneverhad a good Christmas, and the two I’d had while with Bodhi I’d managed to avoid, diving into work so I could pretend all that joy wasn’t going on around me. But if I hadn’t had that drive to work, I wouldn’t be where I was. I owed my success to my ability to block out the world and focus on my work, which I’d been letting slide for the last few days—much longer than I’d ever let it go before.

“She’s brooding,” Kyril murmured against my neck. “Yet another reason I’m sure she’s perfect for us.”

“I am not brooding,” I protested. “The lull just made me thoughtful is all. I think the fact that it’s the holidays, that I really have no obligations to take me away from you at the moment, makes it easy to get used to this. To let myself believe it can be this way all the time, when I know there’s no way that’s possible.”

“It can be whatever you wish it to be,” Kyril said.

Theo tucked a finger under my chin and urged me to look at him. Within my mind I sensed our connection press for more and gave in, surrendering my worries about the future, even though they were still only half-formed things. All that was left was the gut-clenching need to run, something I felt every time I got too comfortable, as if somehow my old circumstances might catch up with me if I didn’t keep moving, even if all that entailed lately was constantly working to build my business.

“She’s afraid she isn’t strong enough,” Theo said, his gaze fixed on mine as he plucked my worries out of my head and spoke the words I hadn’t been able to find myself. “She just isn’t sure she’ll be able to balance her happiness with her other loves, that she’ll wind up neglecting us in favor of them.”

Kyril’s idle caresses stilled and he shifted up onto his elbow, looking down at me. “Don’t tell me the four of us aren’t enough for you. You might be part dragon if you need more mates.”

I laughed and elbowed him gently, my heart in my throat with the need to confess all to them despite being terrified of the truth. “He isn’t talking about people! I have a career and hobbies I love—besides sex, at any rate. I worked too hard to find the meager happiness I have to just walk away from it because my soul mates appeared out of thin air. Forgive me for sounding greedy, but I fucking want itall. You guys are like my cosmic payback for having a shitty life, and you even showed up in time for Christmas.” It wasn’t precisely the truth, but I desperately wanted it to be true so I hoped they’d be able to grasp that sentiment without me having to say more out loud.

“That isn’t all it is,” Theo said. “You showed me your past with Bodhi. Did you think I wouldn’t understand your fears, what caused you two to part ways? He was more to you than a lover, but he didn’t understand your needs the way I do. Let me be that for you too. Let me be your second chance to prove you can do it right.”

Theo levered himself out from under me, letting Kyril capture me in his arms, then gathered up our clothes.

“Are we going somewhere?” I asked, baffled by his sudden need to get dressed when we had no need for clothes inside my apartment. Dorian and Ione were handling food for the day and other than that we had no other needs. “Areyougoing somewhere?”

I swallowed down a lump of panic. Memory surged, the day Bodhi had left two years ago. I was supposed to have spent Christmas Day with him and his family but had fallen into old habits of using work as an excuse to avoid socializing. I’d begged off, claiming I had a major client coming in from out of town whose artwork I needed to finalize. It hadn’t been a lie, but I’d had time enough to do both.

“It isn’t like you don’t know them, Zar,” Bodhi had said bitterly. “You gave my mom a tattoo last week, for fuck’s sake.” I’d designed a fiery songbird for Maddie Dylan, then inked it onto her shoulder. Guilt had gripped me but I’d held fast, promising I’d make it up to them.

Something inside me had known when he walked out the door that day, the bell jingling with a hollow sound behind him, that I had pushed him away one time too many. I’d worked on the tattoo, ignoring that sense of doom until it was way too late. In retrospect I should have gone after him. I could have salvaged our relationship if I’d shown up at the door to his family’s home and apologized, but I’d been too irrationally afraid of losing what little success I had to let myself be truly happy.

I didn’t want to have to face that fear again. I didn’t want to have to worry whether I’d still have a relationship if I fucked up. More importantly, I wanted a relationship that didn’t make me feel like I had to choose. One that melded into the spaces between.

Bodhi had tried to offer me that, but I had retreated thanks to that old fear, and I’d lost something that could have potentially been wonderful. I was already burning way hotter with these four than I ever had with him, and getting way too comfortable. How long until it bit me on the ass and I lost it all? While their very presence comforted me,comfortablehad always been a dangerous state of mind for me. They had to have lives to get back to as well. Hell, they had an entire realm of their own to return to, and where the hell would I fit into that?

“Fuck,” I muttered, realizing I couldn’t let myself keep thinking that way if I really wanted this. I got dressed, heart pounding and gut clenching with that same sense of doom I’d ignored the day Bodhi had left. Maybe whatever Theo wanted to show me would help snap me out of it.

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