Page 57 of Christmas Kisses

“Thank you.”

My rare praise lowers her defenses even more. “Anything else?”

I almost tell her to run a full background search on Angel, but something stops me. It could be because I felt so close to death last night that I don’t want to waste another second of my life reading reports that never accurately describe someone. But again, that feels like a cop-out.

Angel interests me, and I’m invested enough to give her the chance to explain how she landed on my radar. She can’t do that if I probe into her personal life via a Google search.

“No. But I’ll call you if I think of anything.”

“Okay.” Before I can disconnect our chat, Tahlia says, “Christian?”

“Yeah?”

“For what it’s worth, your knocking-on-hell’s-door voice is sexy as fuck. It’s all husky and rough… like you swallowed a dozen pubic hairs like a pussy-eating champ.”

I gag, but since my stomach is empty, unlike numerous times last night, nothing comes up.

“Goodbye, Tahlia.”

Still laughing, she replies, “Ciao.”

After ending our call, I toss my phone onto the vanity and slouch low in the tub. I need a few more minutes to work out whether I should tell Angel that I know she knows why I am here or let her think I’m clueless.

I shouldn’t need to deliberate, but can you say you’ve lived if you haven’t been knocked onto your ass by a five-foot-three Christmas-hating fairy at least twice in your life?

I’m partway through pondering an offer Angel won’t be able to refuse when the voice that kept me somewhat lucid in the wee hours of this morning breaks through the bathroom door. “I wouldn’t ask if I wasn’t on the verge of bursting, but can I please use the bathroom?” Angel doesn’t pause long enough for me to reply. “I can’t use the kitchen sink as a toilet. I just can’t. And I like these PJs. I don’t want them sullied.”

That’s the same excuse she gave last night when she refused to bring me something to spew in when her prank had me firing from both ends.

The remembrance has me acting ignorant.

“Christian?” Angel murmurs a short time later, her voice back to its standard sexy setting. “Did you hear me?” After a second jingle of the lock, she shouts my name. “Christian! I swear to God, if you don’t let me in right now, I’ll… I’ll… I’ll…”

She squeals in frustration before she knocks me on my ass for the second time in under twenty-four hours.

Figuratively.

The door handle whacks into the wall next to the toilet half a second before the shower curtain is fully pulled across the tub. She attempts to hoist me out of it like I don’t weigh more than double her tiny frame. I sayattemptsbecause she can barely lift me.

“Please.” One word shouldn’t emit so much panic. However, hers is brimming with it.

I learn why when she murmurs, “I licked my thumb after repacking your dinner.” She sobs out a groan. “It’s hot. Really,reallyhot.” She isn’t talking about her tastebuds. She’s clutching her ass cheeks together too firmly for me to believe the burn has to do with anything but her intestines. “I need to go, like,now!”

When her stomach’s gurgle represents the deadly roll of an alligator in shallow waters, I leap out of the tub and charge for the exit.

The door can’t close since she warped the hinges when she kicked it open, but a steel vault couldn’t conceal the horrific noises that left her bathroom over the past eight hours. She is aware of the little privacy its closure will offer, so she doesn’t wait for it to occur before yanking her micro cotton shorts to her knees and plopping her backside onto the toilet.

“Do you want?—”

“Just go…please.” A brutal gag breaks up her reply.

“All right.”

I don’t know why I am feeling guilty. This is her doing. She brought this travesty into her home. It just can’t be helped.

“There are supplies next to the tub.” I walk away before turning back around. “And the coolness of the steel does wonders for body aches. Once you’re no longer worried about vomiting and shitting at the same time, climb into the tub for a couple of hours.”

She stammers a shaky “Okay” before her stomach empties in one quick bowel motion.