Page 49 of Stay With Me

With a promise to do that, I curl up and go to sleep convinced tomorrow won’t bring any news I don’t already know.

Chapter Twenty-Three

Elise

“You’repregnant.”Dr.Wright’svoice is gentle as he delivers a blow I wasn’t expecting.

“Not possible, I have an IUD. I had my typical light period like two or three weeks ago,” I stammer, positive it’s wrong. Or the clinic got it mixed up.

I sit there, waiting for him to agree. Waiting for some chance that this is wrong.

Time stands still and the look of empathy on his face feels like a punch in the gut.

“Unfortunately, IUDs still have a one percent failure rate.”

No, no, no. Kids aren’t a part of my plan anymore and they’re certainly not a part of Young Jae’s plan. Is this it? Do I need to decide between termination, something I don’t believe in for myself, or my relationship. Sure, I’m all about choosing, but not making Young Jae wear a condom because I have this stupid, failing IUD is my fault not the baby’s.

“I see.” My words are barely a whisper.

I listen almost as if in a vacuum as he goes over my options before stepping out to give me a minute to process. I could take some time, but it would need to be soon. I have to start taking prenatal vitamins. I need to get this dumb IUD out. I need to prepare myself to accept that my life is about to change in a way I never wanted it to.

And worst of all, I can’t even talk to anyone about it. Adeline and Rae want children so badly, but neither can get pregnant. And here I am, a one percent chance of getting pregnant and there’s a baby. Just growing inside me.

My heart races as I think about Young Jae. He’s not going to be happy. He was adamant about no children. Gripping the edges of the chair I’m sitting on, all the symptoms start to make sense. How was I so blind?

The door opens and Dr. Wright comes back in. “I can fit you in any day this week or next to do the next steps. You don’t need to decide now.”

Clearing my throat, I shake my head. “It’s not a choice. I won’t terminate.” My voice is hoarse, quiet.

“Okay. I will get everything set up to remove the IUD. And I will send off a requisition to get an ultrasound so we can get a date. I will be right back.”

Nodding numbly, I panic, “Wait! Can you send the requisition to Thistle Creek or Mistik Ridge? I’m not ready to share the news yet and this town loves its gossip.”

He agrees, then leaves to go get whatever he needs.

Less than thirty minutes later, I have no IUD and I’m on the road to Mistik Ridge. They had a cancellation and were able to fit me in.

Stopping at the drugstore, I pick up prenatal vitamins and stuff them into the bottom of my purse. Setting a reminder on my phone.

No one recognizes me as I park outside the clinic and go inside, where I’m ushered into a room right away.

I watch as the tech preps everything. When I go to lift my shirt, she shakes her head. “Based on the doctor’s hypothesis for when you had implantation bleeding, we need to check inside.”

I feel like I’m having an out-of-body experience. I watch as she shows me on the screen the little bean that will grow into a baby.

Seeing the little speck that will grow into a human being is surreal. Part of me still thought this wasn’t real. It’s sinking in now that I will be a mother in less than nine months.

As much as I was on board having no kids, seeing the little form does something to me. Tears well and I watch the screen, feeling a little more okay with whatever comes.

After we’re done, she suggests I wait as the radiologist is able to look at the scan now and give me an approximate of how far along I am.

The next hour passes by so slowly, but by the time I leave, I know I’m about five weeks along and due at the beginning of May.

I take the long way home, still processing everything. Somehow, I need to keep Young Jae in the dark until I’ve had enough time to accept this because I can’t process a baby and the possibility of him asking me to terminate or ending the relationship. I can’t imagine him doing something so cold, but I also know he doesn’t want this.

Our lives are going to change forever and I’m taking away his choice in the matter. I know I would be upset too.

My phone rings, the Bluetooth loud in my car. Glancing at the screen, I’m relieved when I see it’s Uncle George instead of Young Jae. I need more time to collect myself before I see Young Jae or he will know something is up.

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