Page 42 of Stay With Me

My body feels heavy as I sigh and unbuckle. I always regretted not working harder to rebuild my relationship with my dad, but I was so angry with him for letting Melanie drive a wedge between us.

My opening door surprises me. I didn’t even notice Young Jae get out of the car. “Thank you.”

“Do you want me to come with you?” He rests his hand on the small of my back, pulling me into him.

After a moment, I shake my head. “No. I want to speak my mind and I think it will be easier alone.”

His kisses the crown of my head, with a promise he’s right here.

Uncle George told me where my dad is buried, so I don’t need to spend a lot of time looking.

His gravestone is simple, including his name, date of birth, and date of death. With “Loving Husband” carved into the bottom. Pressing my lips together, I clench my jaw. She didn’t even acknowledge me on here.

“Hi, Dad. I never thought the next time I saw you would be like this. But here we are.”

I didn’t bother reading his obituary. I know it would’ve been empty of anything truly meaningful. The man he was before he remarried. The man I’m choosing to remember.

“I wish we would’ve stayed close. I never understood why you pulled away after marrying Melanie. It’s not like I ever said anything bad about her. All I wanted was for you to be happy again.” Crouching down, my eyes grow blurry. “We were so close, Dad. And it’s like that never even mattered.”

The tears fall down my cheeks as all the words of hurt and anger fade away. They don’t really matter now. Nothing can change in how the time went, how distant we were, or the fact he’s gone.

If I learned anything over the past several years, it’s that sometimes the most meaningful family is the one you create for yourself.

“I want you to know I’m okay. I don’t know if that’s important for you. I haven’t felt like I mattered much, but maybe somewhere deep inside you still hoped. I have a good life. I’ve built a family for myself and they’re amazing.” A wry scoff escapes. “Young Jae and I are together. I know you always liked him. He’s everything to me.”

Standing, I tuck my hands into my pockets. “I don’t really know what else to say. I love you and wish we could’ve fixed this. It’s okay though. Goodbye, Dad.”

The air is cool, the breeze holding that fall chill. Shivering, I adjust the collar on my jacket and hurry back to the car. Young Jae is leaning against the vehicle, waiting. I walk right into his arms and lay my head on his chest.

“It doesn’t feel like there’s a point. We can’t rewrite our history and I don’t even feel like I know the man anymore. He’s not my dad, he’s a stranger. It feels empty. Is that horrible to say?” Holding his shirt tight in my hands, I squeeze my eyes shut.

I’m a horrible daughter to say that coming to my father’s grave feels empty, but it does. And I can’t pretend otherwise, not with Young Jae.

He lifts my chin, brown eyes serious as I meet his gaze. “Hey. It’s not horrible. It’s simply an unfortunate truth. When was the last time you saw him anyway? Before his wedding, right?”

Nodding. I hadn’t even been invited. They “eloped” except her people were there and none of his.

“I think you grieved the loss of your relationship with your father a long time ago. It makes sense that this doesn’t feel as impactful.” He slides his hand to cup my cheek.

Releasing a heavy sigh, I lean into it. “His gravestone doesn’t even say anything about being a father. Like I don’t exist.”

He presses his forehead to mine. “That would feel awful.”

Closing my eyes, I breathe him in. “Honestly, it doesn’t even matter. He hasn’t acted like a father in years. It hurts, but I think it hurts more that I know he will never show up, asking me to be in his life again. The door is truly closed.”

He wraps his arms around me, holding me tight.

After a few minutes, I say, “I guess we better head to the lawyer’s. Honestly, I don’t know why she wants me there.”

Young Jae opens the car door and I slide into the seat. He has the address linked in his GPS and the five-minute drive seems to be over in the blink of an eye.

We’re right on time, so the receptionist ushers us into the board room when we enter the building.

When Melanie sees me, her eyes widen in shock. It’s the most satisfying part of my day, seeing her open and close her mouth in shock as she tries to figure out how I found out.

Uncle George comes in behind us, his cheeks flushed. “Sorry I’m late.” He catches sight of me, he looks a little like my dad when he smiles. “Elise. It’s been a long time. I’m happy you came.”

Melanie’s eyes narrow briefly before she plasters a fake smile on her face. “It’s a pleasure, Elise.”

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