Page 169 of Surprisingly Us

I shake my head, confused. But then I remember what I said to him when we were decorating Hannah and James’s wedding night suite.Something special.Rhys had argued that it was unnecessary and lame.

They’re just going to fuck,he’d said.

“Rhys, I told you it didn’t have to be. I don’t need any of this. I just want—"

“I know.” He swallows thickly, his hands on his hips as his eyes dart nervously around the room before landing back on mine. “But I do.”

“What—” I’m confused when he slides a hand around my waist, pulling me to him.

His forehead presses against mine, one hand gently cupping my jaw.

“I can’t fuck you, Lettie, because that’s not what it would be. I’ve been losing my mind trying to understand what this is. Trying to push my feelings for you away. Because that’s what I have.Feelings. It’s overwhelming and terrifying. And when you said you didn’t need your first time to be special, I realized that’s all I wanted. For it to be special. For you. With me.”

I’m stunned by his confession, my bottom lip dropping at the very moment he runs his thumb over it.

He pulls back to look over at the bed.

“Are the rose petals too much? I couldn’t decide if they were romantic or cheesy.”

Seeing Rhys unsure and second-guessing something is what I imagine a baby foal looks like when it first tries to stand and walk. It’s endearing.

“They’re sweet.”

He nods, his confidence visibly boosted by my approval.

But in the next moment, he’s swallowing hard and looking at me like I’ve got his heart in my hands.

“When you were standing there naked, I couldn’t take my eyes off you, you were perfect. But the setting was all wrong.”

“It was a nice hotel room,” I argue.

“It wasn’t just about the room. Something was off and I couldn’t pinpoint what was wrong until after I’d left. I was a dick for leaving, I shouldn’t have done that, but I needed time to think.”

“And you decided to do all this?” I motion to his bed.

“I wanted your first time to be a first for me, too.”

I know he’s not talking about sex. He’s had plenty. I shake the thought, refusing to let images of Rhys and other women into this moment.

It hits me then.

He’s referring to his rule of never having a woman in his bed. I’ll behisfirst.

Our eyes lock and the intensity of his stare has my breath catching in my throat. In that moment, he’s telling me everything without saying a word.

My eyes drift back to his bed and the dreamy white bedding.

“I’ve got to be honest; I don’t think white was the best choice.”

He shakes his head, a tiny smirk playing at the corner of his mouth.

“I’ve seen your toy collection. I think you’ll be fine.”

“I’ve seen your cock and I’m certain I won’t be.” My core clenches, a mixture of desire and anticipation at the thought of him inside me.

He shakes his head. “We don’t have to do anything tonight.”

I search his face. All the tension from before is gone. His eyes are filled with warmth and certainty now.

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