Page 154 of Surprisingly Us

After spending the better half of the morning in the water, we grab lunch at the yacht club where we sit out on the dockjust like when we were kids. Except we’re adults now, so we find two Adirondack chairs facing the water. Lettie ordered a Mediterranean bowl with grilled chicken, while I opted for the classic New England lobster roll.

“I remember the first time I ordered one of these. I think I was seven, and my dad was certain it was going to be too much food for me, but I thought lobster was fancy and cool, so I wanted to try it. He told me I could order it, but that I would be eating the leftovers at every meal until I finished it. He knew I couldn’t eat it all and wanted to instill the idea that although we had money, it’s not appropriate to be wasteful.”

“Did you eat it all?” she asks, before loading her fork with a bite of quinoa, chicken, cumber, and chickpea.

I laugh. “Eventually. I think I finished it at breakfast the next day. I remember the bun was soggy, but the buttery lobster was so good, even cold.” I take a bite before offering my sandwich to her. Wrapping her hands around mine to hold the sandwich steady, she takes a big bite.

“So good. Want to try mine?” She offers me her fork with a pre-loaded bite of food and I take it.

She looks at me expectantly, and as I chew, I twist my hand back and forth in a so-so gesture.

“It’s okay.” That lands me a playful swat on the arm. “Hey, it’s hard to compete with lobster.”

“You’re right. Give me another bite.” She motions for me to hand over my sandwich but I hold it away from her. She takes the bait, setting down her bowl so she can climb over my lap and gain access to the sandwich.

“You want my delicious lobster roll so bad, don’t you, Princess?” I wiggle my brows and give her the cheesiest grin.

At my words she burst into a fit of laughter.

“Yourlobster roll? Is that a euphemism for your dick?” She shakes her head, still laughing.

When she reaches out to push my shoulder, I catch her wrist and pull her down into my lap. We’re so close now, we’re breathing the same air. My hand drops to her jaw, and I let my thumb sweep over her cheek.

Lettie’s eyes close. I know she’s expecting me to kiss her. We’re even in public right now so technically it would be okay, but with everything going on with her parents, I don’t want to put any added pressure on her right now. So my lips drop to her forehead instead.

“Should we head back?” I ask.

Her eyes flutter open, like she’s coming to after being in a daze.

“Oh, yeah. Sure.” She nods, then disentangles herself from me. When I stand up from the chair, I have to use what’s left of my lobster roll to momentarily hide my erection. Then, I offer the rest of my sandwich to Lettie and she happily eats it.

Later, on the way back to her house, we find ourselves walking the worn path which passes by the dock below my old house. The house is still technically mine, passed down to me by my parents’ estate, but the condition it’s in makes the ‘old’ part true.

“We don’t have to go in.” I feel Lettie next to me. Her fingers thread through mine. I turn to look down at our hands, then back up at her. I’m so fucking grateful for her.

She’s right. And maybe someday I’ll go inside, but today, standing here is enough.

“I miss them, too. I think about how your mom was so different than my own. It’s like I had the best of both worlds. Hannah’s mom, too, but Abigail’s love of dance always connected us. And with my mom working a lot, it was nice your mom was always around.”

“It’s been fifteen years. They’ve been gone for as much time as I had with them. Isn’t that wild?”

“Yeah, it is when you think about it like that. They’d be proud of you, Rhys.”

Her words are sincere, but I have a hard time accepting them.

“For what? Fake-dating you so I can regain my rightful place as foundation board president? Something I should have been appreciating this entire time?”

“I think they would have wanted you to experience all the twists and turns of life so that you could have perspective when you found your place. Look at me. I’ve been doing what I thought I was supposed to do. Staying focused. Working hard every day. But it hasn’t been enough. I was missing out on everything else around me.”

I nod considering her words.

“I tried to do what I thought was right. To be the man they wanted me to be, but the pressure got to be too much. It felt like Jerrod was always breathing down my neck.”

“I never knew why you left New York. Was it because of Jerrod?” she asks.

I nod. “After graduation, I got a business analyst position with Harper & Benson. Jerrod announced his job at Martin, Breaker, Short the same day and I knew everything would continue as it was. Our competing wouldn’t end with our academic career, it would transcend it, spilling over into our professional lives. The comparison would always be there. When I got my first trust fund installment at twenty-five, I quit. Not because I didn’t want to work but because the joy was sucked out of everything in my life. Nothing was my own. And I had no one telling me I was doing okay. It was always‘how does it compare to Jerrod’and I hated it. I still do. I did my best to be opposite of him in every way. I’m not proud of all the partying and the women, the reputation I built, but it was mine. Does that sound crazy?”

Her comforting smile is all I need.

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