Page 147 of Surprisingly Us

“I can’t.”

It’s a simple answer with a far more complicated reason behind it.

I nod in understanding.

“Do you need a ride? I can have Wanda drive you,” he offers.

“Actually, that would be great. My mom wanted to leave on Thursday, but I have a class at Leg-Up on Friday morning that I don’t want to miss.”

He smiles. “I’ll have Ramsey set it up.”

“Thank you.”

I’d rather have Rhys there, but I understand why he doesn’t want to go. That while being on the water makes him feel close to his parents, being at Lake George where they died is still too hard.

We enjoy the rest of the day on the water before Lucas, the boat’s engineer, sails us back to the slip.

“Do you want me to stay with you tonight?” Rhys asks.

My brain is offline, but my heart, which is still in tethered ruins from the last twenty-four hours, instructs my head to givea confirming nod.We need this. We need him. Don’t argue with us. Let it happen.

Rhys gathers some clothes, and Mo, then Wanda drives us back to my apartment.

We watch mindless television, order in tacos, then Rhys gives me a foot massage until I fall asleep. It’s exactly what I needed today.

CHAPTER 44

Rhys

Princess:Thank you for having Wanda drive me.

Rhys:I’m confident you’re in good hands with her. Have a good weekend.

Princess:You, too.

I miss her already. We’ve spent every day together this week.

After Lettie’s day off on Monday, she adjusted her training schedule, scaling back on her workouts and studio training for the next few weeks until she needs to start focusing intently on preparing for evaluations.

We’ve spent afternoons walking in Central Park or shopping on Fifth Avenue—mostly for me—and evenings curled up on the couch with the cats, watching television. And every night in her bed, cuddling. I’m in a permanent state of blue balls that even stroking myself to the thought of Lettie every morning in the shower can’t cure, but all I want to do is be there for her, even if it requires nearly rubbing myself raw from all the self-love.

We never discussed our make-out session at Hunter and Sophie’s or what happened on the phone that night. I want to kiss her, touch her again, but maybe it’s safer that I don’t. I’ve worked my way back to a solid friendship with Lettie, fuck, if I’m being honest, she’s my best friend, and I don’t want to ruin it.

Now she’s gone for the weekend and I don’t know what I’m going to do with myself. She wanted me to come with her to Lake George, but I couldn’t.

Lake George is the last place I remember being truly happy. I had my parents and my friends. Lettie was there. My life was perfectly content.

And while it holds that place in my heart, I don’t know that I can go back. I only want to remember it how it was. A place and time where I felt understood and loved. But I know Lettie is struggling right now. She’s facing a huge change in her life with her parents’ impending divorce, and their plan to sell their lake house is crushing her.

Still, I told her no.

Then, after she taught her class at Leg-Up this morning, I helped her load her suitcase in the SUV and watched her and Wanda drive off. It’s been an hour since she left and I’m already bored.

Maxine is staying with me on the boat while Lettie’s gone, which I love for Mo, but watching the two of them playfully bat at each other, then curl up and nap together only makes missing my girl worse.

My girl.

Lettie’s always been someone special to me, but I’ve never thought of her as mine before. Even when I placed that giant rock on her finger, I never allowed myself to contemplate what it would be like to claim her. Now, I can’t get the thought out of my head.

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