Page 11 of Out of Nowhere

“I understand,” Seo-jun said. They fell into silence, and, as Seo-jun’s breathing deepened in sleep, Dex lay awake thinking. For a long time, Seo-jun had seemed so mysterious. But over the months, as they’d trained together, he’d become less of the dangerous-looking man Dex had thought him to be and more of a friend who Dex now knew hid behind an unsmiling mask. Seo-jun felt deeply; he just wasn’t someone who shared thosefeelings easily. But, tonight, he’d shared some of them with Dex. And Dex recognized it for the gift it was.

Chapter Six: Seo-jun

Seo-jun kept an eye on Brand Nichols the best he could in between serving smoothies at Summit Climbing Gym. The drinks were stupidly popular. Fortunately, Brand spent a lot of time in his office, and the front door had a bell that alerted them to every person who walked into the gym. When Seo-jun wasn’t busy and Brand was in his office, he watched Dex. He watched the way Dex’s muscles tensed and moved underneath his smooth skin as he climbed the wall. He watched the way his shirt hiked up to reveal the smooth flesh of his waist. He watched Dex’s ass move beneath the nylon of his shorts.

Since the night they’d talked in bed, Seo-jun had been surprised that he wanted more of that. Dex was easy to talk to. He was also a good listener, and he didn’t seem to care that Seo-jun was from North Korea. Speaking at length about himself hadn’t been the hardship Seo-jun had always imagined it would be, and that had been a pleasant realization. But every night since then, Dex had been staying up late to keep up with his regular work for Falcon Security, and when he wasn’t doing that,he was on the phone discussing his sister with his mother. Dex had told him that Anna was in a facility in California for mentally unstable mothers and that she was pregnant.

The night before, Seo-jun had been jerked from sleep by the ringing of Dex’s cell phone well after midnight.

“Sorry, go back to sleep,” Dex whispered to him. “I’ll get this in the living room.”

When he came back twenty-five minutes later, Seo-jun was still awake and sensed that Dex was upset. His need to know what was bothering Dex and his longing to help surprised him.

Rolling over in the bed, he lightly touched Dex’s shoulder. “Are you all right?”

“Yeah,” Dex said, voice thick.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Dex took a moment before speaking, during which he seemed to be trying to pull himself together.

“That was my mother who called. She unloaded her frustration on me about my sister, who’s furious about having to stay at the facility. And Anna admitted to having used meth with the boyfriend. That means her unborn child was exposed to it. I just can’t understand how she could be so selfish.”

“I’m sorry,” Seo-jun said. Feeling around in the dark, he took Dex’s hand in his.

“Do you think a gay man could make a good father?” Dex asked, surprising Seo-jun when he laced their fingers together.

“I think they do it all the time,” Seo-jun replied honestly. “Do you want to be a father?”

Dex sighed. “Yes. I really do. I love kids and the way they look at things. I want to see everything in the world anew through their eyes. I’m afraid Anna can’t handle being a mother, and I won’t get to be an uncle. And, I know this is selfish, but it seems unfair to me that people like Anna, who don’t really want babies,have them all the time, while other people who really want them can’t.”

Seo-jun wasn’t sure what to say to that. It did seem unfair.

They fell asleep soon after that, but all day Seo-jun kept remembering the feel of Dex’s warm palm against his and the longing in his voice when he’d talked about having a child.

Because he was frustrated that he couldn’t help Dex with his problem, he did something else for him, small as it was.

“What’s this?” Dex asked when Seo-jun walked over to where he was standing after having finished working with a climber.

“It’s a smoothie.” He handed him the large cup with the straw already poked through the lid.

Dex took a sip, and his eyes went wide. “This is blueberry and spinach. My favorite. How did you know?”

Seo-jun shrugged. “You mentioned it once when you came back from the gym with one.”

“And you remembered?” Dex looked so touched, Seo-jun was a little embarrassed. With a nod, he went back to the smoothie bar, not daring to look Dex’s way again for several minutes. Seeing Dex happily slurping away on the smoothie made him smile. He really seemed to be doing more and more of that lately.

Chapter Seven: Dex

Something had changed between Dex and Seo-jun. They’d crossed some barrier the night they’d talked about Seo-jun’s past, and then again when Dex had talked about Anna. Every meaningful conversation they had brought them closer, as did sleeping beside one another every night. Holding Seo-jun’s hand the night Dex had gotten the late-night call from his mother was a memory Dex relived over and over. Another was when Seo-jun made him his favorite smoothie. That he’d remembered and had done it out of the blue had made Dex feel unbelievably special. He was probably making too much of it, but still.

For the next few weeks, every day at the gym was much like the last. Dex got used to the ebb and flow of the routine. Weekday mornings came with a burst of people exercising before work. Most of them weren’t there to climb, but to use the weight room, treadmills, and exercise bikes. A lull followed with only a light number of regular members coming and going by midmorning until the gym closed at lunch. Then, when Brand reopened at four, things got busy again with a steady number of membersarriving fresh from getting off work. A couple of hours later, in came those who preferred to go home, eat, and change before coming back to the gym. By then, the night shift took over and Brand went home.

Saturdays were extremely busy and always a challenge for Dex and Seo-jun to keep an eye on their client. Dex had become popular with the intermediate group of climbers, many wanting him to give them tips as he belayed for them. Doing so meant holding the rope and feeding it to them as they climbed, which required his full concentration; so, if Brand was out of his office, Dex only agreed to belay for somebody when Seo-jun was able to take a break and keep his focus on the client. On Sundays, Brand used the heated pool at the mansion under the protection of one of the team while Seo-jun and Dex met with the bosses and caught up with other responsibilities. Brand had made friends with some of the guys and claimed it was like being at a resort. Dex could relate—he’d felt similarly when he’d started working there. Having an ex-model for a boss had its perks. Sometimes Dex called Anna, but lately she’d been suspended from calls due to poor behavior and refusal to cooperate.

If Brand’s ex was watching him or having him watched, he couldn’t have missed Dex and Seo-jun constantly by Brand’s side. Was he frustrated? Angry? If so, he might make a move soon. But the days trickled by without anything occurring, and the nights without anymore talks with Seo-jun because, besides doing work for Jase, Dex was frequently on the phone with Anna, who found ways to call him even though calls were restricted. And when he wasn’t reasoning with Anna, he was on the phone with his mother, who wanted to talk about Anna or about how Dex needed to carve time into his life for a wife if he didn’t want to be alone in his old age.

Before Dex knew it, five weeks had flown by. The Taylor Swift concert came and went without Brand attending.

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