Page 74 of Hold Him Like Gravity

He was scheming against me.

“Ah, tables are for customers only,” a voice called.

I hadn’t even been aware of dropping down into a seat. It wasn’t surprising, though. I felt like my legs weren’t working. I felt like the world had just fallen out from under me.

All of these weeks that I’d been sick with worry, not sleeping, not eating, half-crazed with my fear and worry about Kyle having my brother… and he was in on it.

“Ma’am?”

“Ah, large coffee, please,” I said, forcing myself to stand, to walk over to the counter, handing over some of my stolen cash.

Cash I’d stolen from Rico.

Pain stabbed at my heart.

I’d been fucking over Rico—good, kind, Rico—for weeks because I thought it was my only choice. That if Rico understood, he would have empathy for my situation.

Only to find out that I had no good reason at all.

A small sob escaped me, making the barista’s head pop up, looking over at me with a mix of confusion and concern.

I couldn’t blame her.

I probably looked a little crazed right then.

I certainly felt crazed.

My mind was shooting off in a million directions.

I was sure I was pale, my eyes huge, my aura as frantic as my heartbeat was against my ribcage.

“Here you go,” she called, passing me the coffee with a look that I swear screamedNow please leave.

I felt empathy for her, having been that girl behind a counter late at night with some crazy person sharing your space.

So I took my coffee and made my way outside.

After a quick glance around to make sure Kyle and Jake were nowhere to be seen, I walked on numb legs back toward the subway.

I handed off my coffee to an unhoused man huddled in a jacket and small pile of blankets, then dropped down into an empty seat.

My phone popped out of the pocket and I reached for it, swiping to unlock it out of habit.

There was a little envelope in my top notification bar.

An email.

Happy to do anything other than fall deeper into a hole about the clusterfuck of a situation I was in, I swiped over to my inbox.

There, right at the top, was an email from a familiar address.

BobbyxBoobies.

Because, you know, he was an adult and everything.

The preview text had my pulse speeding up again, had a sweat breaking out across my skin despite the cold.

You wanted me to email you if I saw Jake.

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