Page 65 of Hold Him Like Gravity

My brain, for the first time, wasn’t racing. I felt less frazzled and jumpy.

While I should have been using that new clarity to think through the situation with Kyle and my brother, all my mind wanted to do was focus on Rico.

Namely, him leaving.

I mean, I couldn’t exactly blame him. I’d passed out hard enough that I hadn’t even felt him moving out from under me.

He’d been sweet enough to get my covers off of my bed and put them over me before he headed out. That had to count for something.

And, I realized as I wrapped myself up in the blankets and got up, that he’d also fed Evander. Which made sense why the little demon cat hadn’t woken me up with his screaming.

“I still wish he’d stayed, though,” I told Evander as I washed out his bowl and set out some more food and milk. “I bet you do too,” I added, rubbing his head.

He didn’t purr for me like he did for Rico, but he didn’t try to swat at me either. It was progress. He also didn’t want to be let out as much lately. I didn’t know if he was just picking up on my desperate mood or what, but his change of heart was breaking mine as I realized I was going to have to leave him behind eventually.

I set up the coffee maker then made my way down the hall to grab some fresh clothes and make my way into the bathroom.

I could still smell him all over me, lingering woodsmoke and cigars. The last thing I wanted to do was wash him away. But, logically, I knew I needed to. I had to get some separation between what we’d done and what I wanted.

Because there was no universe where I could have some sort of happily-ever-after with Rico. The man I was stealing from, for God’s sake.

I needed to keep my distance. Get my work done. Stop letting him walk me home.

In fact, I was going to the Bronx tonight, come hell or high water. And then every other night until I found my brother.

With that in mind, I showered, scrubbing him away. But even as I slathered my own scent on afterward, I thought of him. Ofhow he said he liked it. How he’d rested his head between my breasts to breathe me in.

Maybe I needed to get a new lotion.

I finished dressing then grabbed the tips out of my purse, adding it to the pile I was going to give to Kyle.

Tips would be picking up with the holidays coming, the shop running sales, and people flooding the streets to do shopping and needing somewhere to stop for food.

My finger was already looking better. And the shower had made the edge of one of the butterfly closures start to pull up. I figured that if I maybe put one of those weird finger condoms on, I could start doing sandwiches again. Get myself more tip money. Not just for Kyle, though. For myself. For Jake. For our escape. If I wasn’t being followed, I could walk up to the ATM and deposit the cash into my account where it would be safe until I needed it.

I hadn’t been hungry since Kyle showed back up in my life, but I forced myself to choke down some instant oatmeal with my coffee before making my way in to work.

Rico was there so I just… did my best to avoid him. Made myself scarce when he was around, made sure that there was no chance for our eyes to meet.

It was all working.

Until he actuallycalled meinto his office.

I couldn’t help but feel like a kid being called to the principal’s office, like I was going to get detention or something.

Or, worse yet, he might fire me.

Then what?

What would happen to Jake?

I mean, I couldn’t exactly do what Kyle wanted in the case of a situation like this. Break into the safe. Clean it out. Then take off.

My mind was still on all those things when he grabbed me and sealed his lips over mine.

All the reservations I had flew right out of the window at the feel of him close to me again.

Just once more,I told myself as he placed me on the desk. I could let myself enjoy this one last time.

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