Page 23 of Depraved Desires

Once I was fully coherent, the voices became clearer, and my vision slowly began to focus. Myles and Foster loomed over my bedside, both looking at the mess I’d made around my room over the last two weeks.

Fuck.

Propping myself up on my elbows, my head spun from the migraine and my stomach twisted with nausea.

“Look who’s finally awake.” Myles smirked, bringing Foster’s attention to me. The two stared at me with vastly different expressions. Foster looked at me with disgust while Myles had a look of amusement etched into his features at the sight in front of him. I guess my misery brought him great pleasure, but I wouldn’t expect anything less—not from him.

“What the fuck are you guys doing here?” I grumbled, not quite ready to start the day yet.

The guys knew I drank, smoked, and occasionally did drugs, but now that they were in here, it was evident how bad my habits have gotten more recently. Empty bottles littered the floor and bedside table, my weed stash was out in the open and unkempt, there were three bottles of unprescribed narcotics on the table nearest to me, and my room hadn’t been cleaned in who knows how long.

“We haven’t heard from you all morning,” Foster said with an edge to his tone. “Figured you’d at least want to get some lunch.” His gaze drifted from me and did another sweep around my room, the disgusted look becoming more prominent as he took everything in.

Sitting up, I rubbed my eyes with the palms of my hands. “Yeah,” I muttered.

“What the hell has gotten into you lately?” he continued, pinning his blue eyes back on me. I knew that was coming. Foster didn’t have a filter and said whatever was on his mind, regardless of what it was. He was still his annoying, judgmental self.

Forcing a laugh in an attempt to lighten the situation, I shrugged. “Been partying too hard lately, I guess. Maybe I should dial it back.” Hopefully that would be enough to get him off my back. They didn’t need to know the real reason for my sudden change in behavior.

If I told Foster that my mind was all fucked because of what we did to Raven and Aspen, he’d put me under a microscope like he was doing to Collin. That was a headache I didn’t need to deal with. He always had to be in control of everything, regardless of how small it might have been.

“That’s all it is?” he inquired with an arched brow. “You’ve beenpartyingtoo hard? Conveniently right after Raven and Aspen were killed?”

“I’ve always drank and did drugs.” I scoffed, annoyed by his skepticism. It was my life, and he wasn’t my goddamn father.

Myles ran his hands through his midnight-colored hair. “It’s probably just a coincidence, man. Let it go.” When Foster’s gaze zeroed in on me, his eyes narrowing, Myles shot me a wink that had my heart palpitating. I wasn’t sure why he covered for me when he apparently knew the truth, but I was thankful for it.

Blowing out a breath, Foster nodded. “Yeah. A coincidence,” he muttered. “This shit with Collin has me on edge.”

“Collin will be fine,” I assured him. “He might be an extremely emotional person, but he isn’t stupid. He’ll do what he has to.”

I think we were all suffering in different ways. Foster had grown angrier and more reserved, keeping to himself a lot more often than usual, Collin stopped eating and started moping around a lot, Myles seemed to be his same old self, but something was off about him. I just couldn’t place it. Then there was me. I’d taken a page out of my mom’s handbook and resorted to drugs and alcohol. Myles had some weird obsession with Aspen that I didn’t understand. I’d never seen him get like that about anyone before. Foster probably just didn’t want to get locked up. And Collin really liked her and never did well with murder to begin with.

“Hunter’s right,” Myles stated, patting Foster on the back of his shoulder. “Let’s table this for later. If something happens, then we’ll address the issue. In the meantime, let’s get some food.”

I nodded in agreement with that, despite the pep-talk not being meant for me and climbed out of bed, planting my feet against the floor. I probably reeked of alcohol but knew there wouldn’t be time to take a shower. So instead, I changed into a T-shirt and sweats, paired with a black jacket and then slipped on my tennis shoes. Running a brush through my hair, I sprayed on my favorite cologne to help mask the scent of last night’s shenanigans.

“Where’s Collin?” I asked once we stepped out into the hall.

Foster sighed. “No clue. He wasn’t in the cafeteria or his room. I think he’s having some kind of psychotic break.”

It was really unlike Collin to just disappear like that. He was the only one of us who had always been easily accessible. Worrypainted my insides. I knew he was having a hard time but didn’t know what to do about it. Talking about this shit wouldn’t do anyone any good. What’s done was done and nothing would change that.

“Have you tried texting him?”

“Yep, and calling. I think he has his phone turned off.”

My mind spun as we made our way outside into the chilly, November air. Things were off with us. It felt like we were falling apart, headed directly into a downward spiral. Usually when we didquestionablethings that the average mind couldn’t handle, it brought us closer. This time was different.

Once we reached the cafeteria and grabbed our trays, we all sat around the table in silence. Collin was usually the one to start up a conversation. Without him, it was just…boring.

My gaze drifted to the table across the room, only to lock eyes with the one person I’ve been trying to avoid since everything went to shit. Gia’s gaze narrowed and her upper lip curled into a sneer.

She knows.And it would only be a matter of time before she either told someone, or before she got in our way. Neither of those things would bode well, and I was afraid of what might happen if she pissed off Foster or Myles. Two disappearances back-to-back already raised flags, but if that became three, we’d probably have the FBI breathing down our necks.

I’d been so focused on Gia, that I hadn’t even noticed when Jessica strode up to our table. My eyes met hers, and defeat flooded through me. One thing that this whole fucked up situation has taught me, was that I didn’t want Jessica anymore. She’d been a nice distraction, and I felt a little bad for hurting her, but no part of me missed what we had.

“Hey,” she greeted in a small voice, bringing even more attention to the fact that this was about to be an awkward conversation. “Can we talk for a minute?”

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