Page 9 of Depraved Desires

“I’m not sure. Aiden called him Barrow or something like that.”

My eyes blew wide, and my heart started pounding against my ribcage excessively. Barlow. As inRocky. Why would he risk his life to help me when I blatantly refused his help in the beginning? Stumbling backwards, my hand grasped onto the kitchen counter.

Once the meal was ready for me, she handed it to me on a plate along with a glass of sweet tea and ushered me into the living room. I didn’t hesitate before sinking down onto the sofa and taking a long drink. The sugary beverage coated my tongue and throat, making me hum in approval. This was probably the last thing I should be drinking given the circumstances, but water didn’t even sound appealing.

Setting the glass down on the coffee table, I took the fork between my fingertips and stabbed a mound of scrambled eggs with it before plopping it in my mouth.

“Do they taste alright?” Caroline questioned, stepping into the living room. “They’re not too dry, are they?”

Truthfully…they were as dry as the fucking Sahara, but I was grateful, nonetheless. “They’re fine,” I lied, shoveling another bite into my mouth. I was so hungry; I’d eat just about anything right now.

After my shower, I changed into a pair of sweats and a sweatshirt, throwing my hair up into a messy bun once it was dry enough to do so. Since my hair was still pretty short, strands fell out of the hair-tie, but I didn’t really give a shit. Apparently, Rocky had bought me some clothes while I’d been sleeping over the last several days since he didn’t want to risk touching any of my belongings in fear of someone noticing. I wasn’t sure who would notice though, the only person that would was dead…

My heart sank. She was dead because of me. If only I’d listened to her and Gia in the beginning, none of this would have happened. Sighing, I retreated into the living room, surprised to see Monroe standing by the front door, kicking his shoes off.

When his eyes met mine, his skin noticeably paled. I didn’t know why he was so shocked to see me, seeing as how he brought me here.

“You’re awake,” he said, pointing out the obvious.

Glancing around, I saw no sign of Caroline. “Where’s your wife?” I demanded, skipping the small talk. She actually didn’t seem so bad, but then again…I barely knew her.

He shifted uncomfortably as he shrugged out of his coat and hung it on a hook near the door. His long-sleeve shirt clung to him like a second skin and complimented his manly figure.

“She went to have an early dinner with her sister.”

“Why am I here?”

He sighed and made his way into the kitchen, not bothering to answer me. I rolled my eyes and followed him, making sureto keep my distance. I watched as he grabbed a bottle of whiskey and a glass, pouring it halfway full and setting it on the counter.

Something was troubling him. It was written all over his face. His eyes met mine once more and they drifted over my outfit. As if coming to a decision, he pulled another glass out of the cabinet and filled it with whiskey too. Setting it on the counter, he sighed.

“For you,” he said, inclining his head toward the glass he just filled.

To say I was surprised would be an understatement. Then again, we have fucked, and I almost died. A little bit of alcohol was the lesser of three evils.

Walking further into the kitchen, I collected the glass in both hands and took a big gulp. The amber liquid burned my throat as it cascaded down into my body, but I welcomed the pain with open arms. Releasing a hiss of approval, I took an even bigger gulp, hoping to drown out the pain of what I’d endured—of what my best friend had endured.

“What all do you remember?” he asked, taking a sip of his own beverage.

Licking my lips, I cradled the glass in my hands. “I remember everything.” My stomach twisted as the memories of that night broke through my walls, forcing me to relive it. “I remember hearing Raven scream, so I followed the sound. When I got there, they were standing over her covered in blood. Her throat it had been…” I paused, the words getting stuck in my throat. Bringing the glass to my lips once more, I took another big swallow.

Monroe stared at me intently, holding on to every word. The creases on his forehead were enough of an indication to tell me that he was scared to know more. But he needed to, and I needed to tell someone.

“Her throat had been cut,” I finished. “They took turns raping me. Everyone except for Foster. And when they were done, they dragged us both out into the woods anddisposedof us, Foster being the one to push me into the water.”

“Jesus fucking christ,” he murmured, downing the rest of his drink.

I didn’t want his pity. I’d be fine eventually. Raven, however, wouldn’t be. She’d never fall in love or have babies. She’d never become successful like she always talked about. Her life was cut too short and at the hands of a few punks. I wanted to avenge her. I wanted to avenge myself.

“How are you feeling?” he continued, pouring himself another glass.

“Like I was raped and almost killed.” I released a humorless laugh. “My body hurts all over. Mentally, I’m more worried about what happened to Raven than about myself.”

“That’s because you’ve trained yourself not to feel,” he accused. “Eventually, it’s all going to come crashing down around you.”

I was an expert when it came to bottling shit up, and he was probably right. I just didn’t want to keep giving them the satisfaction of hurting me. As far as they knew, I was dead. It needed to stay that way.

“I’m fine,” I assured him, though, I didn’t entirely believe it myself. I was used to being used and treated like shit. It came with the territory of being an orphan in the system. What mostly pissed me off was the fact that they tried to fucking kill me and theydidkill Raven. They couldn’t get away with that.

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